I often look at the sky and am so overwhelmed with amazement, I don't want to stop looking. I want to soak it in, the colors, the smells, the aliveness it has as the sun is setting. I stop for a moment, but a moment doesn't seem long enough. I want to stand there forever, letting the world pass me by, as they miss out on the 'show' put on by the Artist.
I often look at the sky during a storm. The lightening bolts go to and fro. They have a mission, they've been told where to go. I listen to the rumble of the thunder, sometimes I feel it in my heart and my feet. I smell the air, it has a taste, a taste that always precedes the rain. I want to capture it all and save the images, feelings and the smell forever. I listen to the Concertmaster entertain us with His sounds, I listen for His voice.
But it's the times when there is no sunset and no scent of rain, that I stumble the most.
I often count years.
How will I be in 5.
How will I be in 10.
How will I be in 15.
How will I be when my kids have kids.
How will I be when.....
I stand in awe of His wonders, but I put a wall up around me.
I see His artistry and yet I feel like He can't fix me.
I see my MS and say, "He can't. It's beyond His reach."
I ask myself everyday, "He can, but will you let Him?"
When I find that these thoughts are taking hold, I run to Job 38-42.
Here's a few of the many verses where God talks to Job in chapter 38..
24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm,
26 to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it,
27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass?
28 Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew?
29 From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
30 when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen?