Friday, July 30, 2010

A Picture Will Do It

A few days ago, I wrote about "Fingerprints."

Well, right after I posted that, I wrote this one.

The morning Cooper and Chloe decided to swim in their milk, I had a doctor's appointment.

We pick up Matt on the way.

Once at the doctor, we go into 'the big room.' A friendly gal greets us, "Hi, I'm so&so, I'm an Ultrasound student. If I may, can I take a look?"

"SURE! While you are looking, the lady downstairs, wasn't really sure on the baby's gender because the cord was in the way. So if you can, would you look?"


The baby, of course, doesn't want to cooperate. After a few minutes, the shot we were waiting for, crotch shot.


She took a picture of 'her' and to be honest, I can't tell. I'm just taking her word for it. With Chloe we had a crystal clear picture of the '3 lines.'

But I'm not letting that deter me from buying pink things starting now.

On the way home, I began thinking ahead to when this baby is born. I went back to when the kids were born.

My heart got happy.

It was then I felt bad for my reaction to the swimming pool of milk that had been created this morning, or the blood curling screams or the attitude Chloe gave me.

I am happy & school will start soon.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


It wasn't the fact they were playing together. It wasn't the fact that they were being loud.

It was the fact that his scream leaves me deaf for a few minutes.

It wasn't the fact that he spilled his milk.

It was the fact that he intentionally spilled it in order to play in it.

It was the fact that Chloe, knowing better, played it in with him.

I had a rough morning, and it wasn't even 10:30 yet. We had only been out of bed 1 point 5 hours.

I got an email yesterday informing me the kids' school will likely not start until September.

In that same email, I was also informed the nap mats that I had made, were destroyed, gone forever. I was told, "You should purchase another for Cooper, Chloe will not be taking a nap."

I paid around $70 for both, not counting the fabric I bought for Chloe's.

Matt is working like a dog, a d-o-g. He works like a dog and drives 2 hours total to and from work.

Church a few weeks ago, Craig told a story a friend of his had shared.

"I used to get so mad when the kids would get fingerprints all over the window. Now..... I'd give anything to have those little fingerprints all over my window again."

That story has been bouncing back in forth in my brain and heart.

It's been a rough month. I didn't realize just how much I need the kids to go to school. I didn't realize how much they love it!

I am doing my best to be thankful for these times.

My mother in law always says, "Megan, this to shall pass." When she tells me this, it's like nails on a chalk board, I just want to say, "Well, how bout I bring em over til it does."


I'm thankful.
I am really thankful.

Now I have to go clean up the milk.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

It's a.....

We had our 'mid-way' ultrasound yesterday. Baby was so cooperative for measurements. But then it came time to find out what we are having. Wouldn't you know, there was an umbilical cord that was in the way!

It's like we aren't supposed to know what this baby is, which is fine with me because I didn't want to know anyway. I agreed because I love my husband and he really wants to know. BUT now that I'm mentally prepared to find out... let's just say, we both walked out of the ultrasound appt kind of bummed.

We were told, "Well, the cord is in the way, but I don't see any boy parts. If I had to guess I'd say it's probably a girl."

Hmmm, 'probably' isn't really what I was looking for, but ok. I mean, it's not like we can get the baby to bend over and move the cord.

When people ask, I have been saying 'she' in regards to how baby and I are doing. I see the doc next week. She does an ultrasound every visit, so I'll have her take a gander.

The picture below was taken right after the tech was trying to see between the legs. If you look below the arrow it looks as if the baby has 'her' thumb up to her cheek, fingers out, saying "nana booboo." Kind of like it stuck it to us. It was funny.
Names? Yea, we only have a boy name, so we've got some thinking to do.

Monday, July 19, 2010



That's the big day.

I get the privilege of filling my bladder to the hiz max, while a lady pushes on my stomach in an effort to see if Matt and I will be paying for another wedding or just paying for the rehearsal dinner.

That's right folks, we find out pink or blue on WEDNESDAY!

People ask, "What do you think it is?" I honestly can not answer that question. All three pregnancies have been very different.

Chloe: Easy as pie. I did however have to wash my greasy face three times a day in order to prevent a breakout of zits.

Cooper: We thought we lost him early in the pregnancy because I had some bleeding. I was also sick, but only pucked once. Oh and no grease covered face.

NUMBER 3: Pucked a bunch, lost weight, pucked some more, couldn't eat. Face isn't greasy, it's normal.

So this one has been a mixture of both.

Chloe and Matt say boy. Most of my friends say girl.

Check back on Wednesday or Thursday for a picture and the news!

I'd open this to comments, but I'm afraid who's out there wanting to spam me. If you follow me on twitter, twitter your guess. Or if you have my email, email me.

Sunday, July 18, 2010


If you had grown up in my house and had ridden in my dad's blue chevy Silverado, you would have heard a plethora of Pink Floyd, Queen and KMOD. At the time, I was a teenager and didn't care for Pink Floyd. Now that I'm older, I'm a lover of their music. So the title to this post comes from their song. Anytime I say the word, "money" I have to say it the way they do in the song.... MONEY!

I wrote about living out Hebrews 13:16 "But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."

...and someone leaving 2 gift cards on our vehicle. But now I want to tell you what I learned from that experience.

The day the gift cards arrived, I was really wanting an air popcorn maker.

When the gift cards arrived, I'm not gonna lie, my gut reaction was, "Let's go get an air popper."

Matt was not having it and if I really stopped and ignored my craving, I knew it was the wrong thing to do.

But I learned something at that moment.

I realized I cherished that $65 so much because I knew where it came from. I wanted to use that money in a way that would be pleasing to the people that sacrificed and in a way that would be pleasing to God. I wanted to spend it wisely.

The question I asked myself was this, "Do you cherish and appreciate the paychecks we get twice a month as much as you are appreciating these gift cards?"

The answer is "No."

I mean, I appreciate and am VERY thankful Matt has a job. That wasn't the issue. The issue stirring was the fact that I haven't been seeing the paychecks in the same light as the gift cards. Both come from the same place.

We don't spend our money frivously, but I sure do not look at it and ask, "How can I spend this in a way that is pleasing to God?"

We have always tithed, we now have a Compassion Child, we offer to pay for people's things, BUT I don't look at the money and say, "Lord, help me to use this wisely."

I realize that a blessing in gift cards or a blessing in paychecks is all the same blessing. Use it wisely.

Friday, July 16, 2010

God Said

Chloe is really into My Little Pony right now. Her Grama gave her a run down, matted hair, old school My Little Pony about 6 or more months ago. This pony was the beginning to a team of horses all different colors and cutsy names.

I ended up buying her two more so her 'garage sale' pony could have friends to talk to. The fourth was given to her by her teacher. The fifth was bought by me. She had seen a picture of one she didn't have, so I took her to the store and we bought it. Upon reading about all her ponies, she learned her 5th has a sister. So of course, she is desperate for the sister to Scootaloo. Her name is Cherrilee.

Did you get that?

I came up with a fantastic idea. Chloe could 'earn' pennies by helping me around the house with various 'chores.' One day, she randomly cleaned her room. I gave her 5 pennies because I didn't have to ask. Another day, she randomly cleaned Cooper's room; pennies. She 'helps' me vacuum. I do not give her pennies for behavior, nor do I take them away for behavior, even though I really want to at times.

If she earns 100 pennies, she can go 'buy' the sister pony.

This goal of obtaining this sister pony has turned into a "God Said" issue.

One day, after purchasing Scootaloo, Chloe said, "Mom, God said I could have Cherrilee." I proceeded to tell her, "No he didn't. He told me you need to save your money." And as serious as she can be, from her car seat, she said, "No Mom, no, no no, God did not talk to you."

She tells me all the time that she talks to God.

She was sitting on the toilet one afternoon, "Mom! God said, I could have Cherrilee." Knowing what I know in how God talks to Chloe I decided to turn the tables, "Oh really? Perhaps you should ask him if you should save your money first."

From the bathroom I hear a one sided conversation. "God, uhuh. Do I need to save my money to get Cherrilee? Uhuh, yea, ok, uhuh OK"

"MOOOOM God said I need to save my money."

I smiled and giggled.

Matt came home that evening and I shared the story. He smiled and looked at me and said, "Megan, makes ya wonder huh?" If a laugh could speak, my spoke and it said, "I think she talks to him and I tend to believe he speaks back to her 3 year old heart."

This "God told me" or "God said" happens everyday.

Chloe randomly began spelling Cooper's name and recognizing his letters. "Chloe, who taught you that?" I asked because no one in the Knox house taught her and I know she didn't learn it at school.
"God." she says very very matter of factly.
"Oh yea, when did he teach you that?"
"In the night."
"In the night?"
"Ya Mom, he talks to me in the night."

Now if he could only tell her to change her behavior.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Hebrews 13:16

So a few weeks ago, our church was doing the series One Prayer.

During the last week of the series, Lifechurch was joining forces with Compassion International. There was something like 4,000 kids from Ecuador set aside for all of our campuses to adopt.

The service is over, we go grab the kids, pass the desk with all the pictures of the kids and head for the doors. I'm dragging my feet because I feel like we are supposed to get a kid.

I start asking Matt what he thinks, all the while I'm giving reasons as to why we can't afford it. "We can't cut out eating out because we don't do that very often at all. We can't cut any salon visits because I don't do that often enough as it is, I mean look at my hair! We can't we can't we can't."

Matt says, "Soo you wanna go look?"
I look at him, all the while thinking, "I am totally trying to talk you and myself out of this and you wanna go look?"

Normally, I have to convince Matt of something that costs money. I can look at him, hug him, bat my eyes and I get my way. Not because he's weak but because he is madly in love with me. He's a gentlemen that loves his wife.

So I'm standing there stunned. In my head I begin to revisit the conversation that originally took place. How we can't yada yada yada.

"Ok, ya, let's go look."

We go to the table and Matt begins sifting through pictures. I'm telling myself if he wants to do this he is going to pick one out. Cooper is trying to pull my dress down so I will pay attention to him, Chloe is sitting in the middle of everything eating her regular 'after church snack' of cheese crackers, otherwise known as, Cheeze-It's.

"Megan, look at this little dude."

I walk over and staring back at me is a tiny little dark skinned boy with the sweetest face. "Oh man. How old is he?" I look at his DOB. "Matt he's three!"

I ask the Compassion helper, "Do you have a little girl that is three?" In my mind I'm thinking of Chloe and this girl growing up as pen pals or something fluffy like that. I am thinking how this can be a lesson for her as she grows older.

"Why do you want a girl? Does it really matter?" asks Matt.
"No, but..." I don't finish when the helper says, "Here's one."

I grab her card, look at her with her jet black shoulder length hair, bright orange shirt, and girly pink flip flops. Her birthday is in December. "Matt, look at her."

Matt giggles because she is absolutely adorable yet has this ornery look about her. I show her to Chloe, "I like her fwip fwops."

I laugh.

So we sign up.

In the car, I am having an internal panic attack. We don't make enough. We aren't out of debt yet. blah blah blah.

"Matt we can cut back on our cell phone minutes. That'll save like $20."

I begin to spill my guts:
I've wanted a Compassion Child for the longest time, but I felt like the timing was never right. I didn't want to live out of my comfort zone. I didn't want to live without my chai's or my cable or going to Wal-Mart when I please. I am realizing I have wanted to live outside my box. I need to live inside my box. (The sermon that day was about the box mentality. Go to to watch the message) I have wanted to have my 'things' and still do good for others. Sometimes it doesn't work that way. Matt, I am going to have to trust God that he will provide for us because this is going to be a lot of money right now. But I felt like if I walked out of there without a child I was going against what the Holy Spirit was pushing me to do. And you don't want to disobey the Holy Spirit.

I continue on and on until we are nearly home.

As soon as we get home, I put her picture on the fridge right next to the freezer door handle. Now when I open the door to the fridge or freezer, I see her face and wonder, "What is J. eating tonight?" I see that little chubby face scowling at me and smile. She may be three, but she is, she has weaseled her way into my heart that was filled with selfishness.

I called my MIL that evening and told her what we had done & my reservations. She said, "Megan, God will provide for you guys. It might be rough, but he will provide."

So this past week, the Compassion money came out. Now how our pay works, the first of the month paycheck is small. We are always strapped to the max until the 15th. We didn't think the money would come out until after the 15th.

Well it did, and it stung. "How is Matt going to get to work? How am I going to feed all of us? How is this going to work?......"

On Sunday, our church covered "Blind Side" the movie. (It's At The Movies. You should join us)

The verse was Hebrews 13:16 NKJV "But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."

Craig asked us "Who is God calling you to reach out to, to bless, to mentor. Maybe God wants you to reach out to your next door neighbor. Maybe you should adopt, foster or reach out to a single mom. Who is God calling you to reach out to b/c God might use you to change their life and God might use theirs to change yours."

I looked at Matt and smiled. My throat was filled with tears. Because it was then, I knew. I knew we had done the right thing. I asked Matt, "Were you thinking of J?" He looked at me and said, "Yep."

We get home from church, we are exhausted. Everyone takes a nap. After we all awoke froma semi coma, Matt and Chloe ran an errand. He gets home and tosses an envelope at me, "This was on the car."

"Hmm," it wasn't addressed to anyone, just blank, "is it a card?"

I open it and out falls two gift cards totalling $65. Almost double what we give for our Compassion Child.

I start to cry, "What is it? What is it?!" Matt is worried. I toss the cards to him. He just laughs.

I am stunned.

I tell him, "Matt I have been worried. I have been internally panicking because I didn't know what we were going to do this week for food!"

So we stop and we just tell God thanks and we pray for those who just lived out Hebrews 13:16 nkjv

"But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." Hebrews 13:16 NKJV