The kids are out of school. I kicked them outside since it is relatively warm and I am not here to entertain them or take them all over Tulsa because they are bored. I want to be bored!
I say that but after I kicked them outside I grabbed the novel of paper work needed to fill out for foster care stuff.
I learned a month ago that the paper work we filled out a year ago has to be filled out again after a year.
Doctors don't have to take their big test every year. They just stay current and up to date with their education and I'm guessing certain certifications and they put their hands INSIDE bodies!
Here I am filling out background checks (which i thought were good for 3 years), signing agreements, signing rules, notifications and verifications, profiles, filling out 'general info.' I'll need to schedule doctor visits for all 6 of us, never mind the fact that some aren't due for a well-check and I don't want to be told "scoot down to the edge of the table" in 2017! I have to give my income statements which doesn't show how much of a strain fostering actually is on your bank account.
Do I sound perturbed? I am!
Here is my personality; when I think something is dumb or a complete waste of time. I general go into refusal mode. I stand my ground and refuse to conform to the stupidity of whatever the stupid thing is that stupid people are asking of me. Some things make sense; insurance, vaccs, pet vaccs.. Stuff like that I get. I can even conform to the background check every year but this?! This is ludicrous. I have a hard time believing that those foster families that get arrested for abuse did alllll this paperwork every. single. year? Doubtful.
So here I am, looking at what seems like 1 million pieces of paper and I'm gonna fill out every last damn one of them. But mind you! I will be REALLY pissed off the whole time at whoever thought this was needed to be done every. damn. year.
I can see how people get to the "I've had enough." phase of fostering and call it good. It would be easier for me to toss a deuce and be over it. Believe me, I tried. Matt said we should fill all this out. I might have huffed and internally pouted at his answer. I was expecting him to give me the out so I could use all this paper for kindling. Ohh and it would be good kindling but I'd also be burning the hope of humans. Little humans.
What does our future hold for fostering? I have absolutely no idea. What age will we be open for? I have absolutely no idea. The kids have asked if we will foster again. They are ready. I'm not. I'm scared. I'm comfortable! I'm happy.
The last kid was more than we could deal with and when he left, he left us in ruins. He came in and set the whole place on fire and laughed as he left. Matt and I had to reconnect. Matt and I had to reconnect with the kids. We had to reconnect with Jesus.
But it is the first kid, BH, that we had with us that has me filling out a stupid amount of paperwork.
He was worth it.