I accepted Christ the summer before my senior year in high school at FCA camp. That was in 1997.
I have never been baptised.
This has been a concern, struggle, battle, worry, need, and cause for pray in my life in the past 6 years.
Reasons why I haven't? One, when I accepted Christ, I didn't know getting baptised was part of the 'commitment/statement.' Two, it has been so so long since I accepted Christ, I didn't want those whose lives I maybe changed or influence to question or doubt my love for God; I didn't/ don't want to look like a hypocrite. Three, I'm embarrassed. Four, I don't like cold water-despise it. God should have said, "If you are cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." Fifth, am I going to Hell if I DON'T do this? Is it a deal breaker? Sixth, excuse after excuse.
This topic has really been an issue, in a good way, for me for a long while. I feel this disconnect, this 'thing' that needs to be done. I often ask myself, "am I doing this for the check mark, or am I doing this for the kingdom?" Sometimes, most of the time, I think for both. I think, "It could get my family to church who still believes in the Episcopal way of 'sprinkling a baby.' I was sprinkled.
I remember that day. I was young, under 13. I didn't even know why I had to get my hair messed up. To this day, I still don't know why I had to get my hair messed up!! Trust me, I know it didn't do a thing for me and my relationship with Christ. I knew it was bogus the day it happened. I didn't know why it was bogus, but I knew it has to be.
I think it was when Matt had the opportunity to baptise the youngest boy in the house at the ranch. Caleb accepted Christ at Lifechurch.tv and got baptised at Frontier City during LifeStock. Matt got to dunk him. It was that day, I think, that I realized I had never done that. Then the inner-battle was on.
One of my sister-in-laws, was baptised a few years ago, then my nephew. All of the sudden, I became more embarrassed to 'do it, to take the plunge.' Why? Because I had accepted Christ BEFORE them and was going to get baptised AFTER them!! Doesn't that make me a hypocrite? Doesn't it just make everything I've been about become invalid?
Soooo, about 10 minutes ago, I signed up. I made myself do it. I have to pay attention to what I feel God is pushing me to do; otherwise I truly am a hypocrite. So I'm taking the plunge December 14th at 5:00pm cst.
The funeral of my friend has made me realize how much of a slacker I am in my spreading the Word. If I am going to make a difference I have to believe and preach ALL of the Bible, not just the part that is easy. The tough stuff and the right stuff, oh oh uohh oooohh oh oh uohh, oh oh uohh ooohh, THE RIGHT STUFF! (sorry, music is always playing in my head.)
Seriously though. I'm still very nervous about people watching me, especially if family comes. Which is usually impossible for Sunday events, but I just feel so weird.
But I do feel this is something that needs to be done. Something to draw me out of my practical atheism I, and most, am so guilty of.
Are you who you say you are?
I don't think I have been. But praise God, I still can be.