The Aftermath

Matt has been in a cast for exactly one week! Just 2 fantastic weeks left for the pregnant person to continue working like a single mom of a 17 month old, a 34 year old and her 3rd on the way. I write this hear for two reasons, Matt never reads my blog and I have to get these things off my ever so growing chest, did I say chest I mean breast.

I think my undeserved resentment has fostered itself in my dreams. I had a dream last night that Matt had an affair and got another woman pregnant! Needless to say I woke up angry. Has that ever happened to you? You dream about your husband doing something wrong and wake up thinking it really happened? I called him after I got up and told him what he had done to me and our family. He apologized and all is forgiven. Oh the funny part, his new baby was going to be named John Furniture Knox.

Chloe has been walking like Matt. It's way to funny. She tries to pick up his crutches, but can't so she walks around the house throwing her leg out in front of her and planting it. She is mocking the way Matt's good leg looks when he's crutching. It's quite humerous. We did try drawing on Dada's cast. I opted for the washable markers; bad idea. The ink ended up all over Chloe and Matt's hands. Oops. I tried taking a picture of Chloe w/ the marker all over her face, but due to the fact I have a 1920's digital camera w/ a whopping 4 mp, it came out blurry. But b/c I'm not afraid I am going to post it. (we are hoping to get a new camera w/ tax money)

I guess Matt will get his three weeks of quality couch time and when the baby comes I will get my well derserved quality couch time.

"Hit him in the achilles!!"

Matt plays basketball on Tuesday nights at a local church. The deal is if he gets Chloe to bed before he leaves he can play all night for all I care.

On Tues. night he left to play and not much later I hear him pull in the drive. He was supposed to stop by Wal-Mart on his way home and grab the infamous t.p. and diapers. When he enters the first thing I notice is his lack of white bad for the environment bags, then I notice he isn't walking right. I thought he just twisted an ankle or something. He sits down on the couch and tells me he thinks he really hurt his foot, he thought he messed up his achilles. The first thing that comes to my mind. (gosh this is horrible) "It's the begining of the year! Our deductible has started over! Here we go doctor bills."

We get in to see an orthopod, he does an x-ray and says, "Bad news is you tore it half way, good news is you didn't tear it all the way." He then followed with what I thought was even better news, "We don't do surgery for something like this. We used to but research has shown the results are the same if not better without surgery." I was relieved, I was visualizing not as much money leaving our already empty bank account.

They casted him up and we left. As we were walking out I realized then and there how much Matt is a huge part of the team. Do not get me wrong I tell him often how much I appreciate him, but in that moment I came to realize I don't tell him often enough! I had to carry Miss Chloe, diaper bag, coat and myself out to the car. Sounds easy, but Chloe thoroughly enjoys walking and my pants do not stay up! So I'm walking, carrying everything and at least 2 extra people, while pulling up my pants. I take Matt to work and then the real fun begins. I get to go to Wal-Mart!!! whewhoo (sarcastically) Matt and I usually tag team that adventure, but I knew that wasn't and isn't going to happen for another 3 weeks, unless he rides in the scooter. ha

I get home unload groceries, which usually if I go shopping alone, it's Matt's responsibility to unload both the car and bags. I work on my new adventure for a few hours and then start dinner. While I'm doing all this I seriously thought I was going to go into labor. By the end of the night, the baby had completely rearranged ALL my internal organs and my back was on fire.

So I am counting down the 3 weeks, as I'm sure Matt is as well. I can't thank him enough for being such a big help to me and I love him!

T.P= Toilet Paper

The past 5 days I have spent blowing and blowing my nose. It seems the harder I blow the more snot seems to just magically appear. I went grocery shopping last Wednesday and bought Angel Soft tissue b/c it was .97c for a pack of 4! The reasoning I bought A.S. was two-fold. First, I didn't want to walk all the way down the isle to get the oh so soft kind. Secondly, I couldn't pass up .97c. I told Matt the deal I got and he was excited, but I quickly told him not to expect .97c TP after the baby comes. I mean I need some Charmin for my sensitive areas after poppin' out a baby.

Wednesday was the purchase, and it is now Tuesday and how many of the four rolls do you think I have left? Right-o , NONE! In fact, I'm down to just a few more go arounds on the spool. With all the snot and all the peeing I'm probably going to have to go back to the Cha-cha cha Charmin sooner than I had wanted. Angel Soft does the job but can't stand the test of time.

Pray that in all the snot blowing I don't pop out a kid. Good thing I do my Kegel exercises or it might slide right out on the bathroom floor.

28 in 2008

Another year older! Yep, today is my 28th year since my arrival into this sometimes cruel, but yet lovely world. Usually I make a big deal about my birthday, at least to Matt. He knows it's an important day to me and I like for him to do something "special."

When I got up this morning, I walked into the kitchen and Matt had put a bouquet of flowers in a big ol' vase with a hand-made card. Matt is a talented artist, but never draws due to lack of time. This card doesn't look like much, I guess little Miss Chloe Joy wanted to help him out so he made it simple and quick. All of that was nice and sweet, but it was what he wrote inside that had me in tears. I'll spare you the sappy details.

Matt had planned to take me out to eat dinner in Tulsa. His sister was going to watch Chloe for us but, she and I have had runny and stuffy noses the past couple of days and he opted not to bless her or her children with what we have, even if it isn't contagious. So we just got McAlister's to go and ate in the comfort and warmth of our home.

Even though we didn't do anything, I have had a really good day, usually I'm curled up in bed crying b/c the day didn't go how I thought it was going to go. Matt tries to be a creative gift giver, but I'm just much much better than he is. He tries; he's just not as good as I am. It doesn't sound like much and truthfully it isn't, but I'm o.k. with that.

Bathroom Time Reflection

When I was taking my shower this afternoon I found myself thinking. I usually do my best thinking either in the shower on on the toilet. When you pee as much as I do throughout a day, thirty second intervals can add up to many many minutes of quality reflection. This time of reflection was while in the shower, luckily.

I was thinking back to when Chloe Joy was born. No, I wasn't thinking about the pain, pure exhaustion or any of the other gory details, I was actually thinking about the good stuff. For those of you that have had children, remember the moment when the doctor gives you your baby? You just look at it with an excitement unknown to those who have not experienced it, but yet with a hint of "hmmm, I guess it's nice to meet you." I can remember every moment from the refreshing ice cold water they dumped on my on fire vajaja to the moment the nurses weighed her and I hear Matt say with a tone I've never heard, "I guessed it exactly right, Megan!" He was so pumped he had guessed her weight right on the money.

Then all is calming down... After her bath, the nurses bring her in to us, she's got a cute little bow in her hair and a fancy white T-shirt. Matt and I argue over who gets her and I win only because I am the source of nutrition, but the good part soon follows. I lay her on my chest and she fits perfectly and we fall asleep. Remember that part? Then Matt wakes up, he had fallen asleep while I was feeding her, and snatches her from me. He lays her on his chest and she fits even better on his, and they fall asleep. I look at them and it's just so cute and sweet. Remember that?

We go home and life is tiring, but fulfilling. I tell this because thinking about it made me get really excited for those "good" feelings again!! I'm excited for those moments. The only thing that will be different? There will be one car seat already anchored inside the truck and we will be making room for number two.

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I know I do not know you very well, but have found myself grieving for you these past few days. Not knowing what to say to you or how to say it has led me to write it here.

Although I have not crossed the threshold of pain and loss you have recently crossed, I have teetered on the edge of it. I haven't walked the whole distance, but I have been halfway and that was straining enough.

A friend of mine wrote this during her walk down the seemingly endless road. She said...

"I'm still allowing all that went on to sink in. I'm asking questions but not too many. I'm needing to embrace what happened because I don't have the energy to resist it. So in these days that follow our loss I will be trying to truly feel every emotion that comes with a loss like this. Not in an unhealthy way but in an honest way. I want to know that I faced the pain, drank it in, and loved the Lord for it. I want my heart to gain strength and be established in trust. Knowing I can cling to the Lord in the good and the bad, in the feasting and the fasting, in life and in death."

Pandora's Box & Natalie Grant

Pandora's Box was opened this evening.

It was the box of emotions. So what do I do to curb the outbreak of tears? Friend, let me tell you, I discover Natalie Grant's music video "In Better Hands" and proceed to watch it. Is it good? Yes, yes it is very good, BUT a pregnant, highly emotional woman should not watch it!

I drive my husband crazy when I'm feeling sad and I then hunt out what ever song, show, movie and or book I can find to really enhance my oh so pregnant emotions. That's what I did this evening.

He had hurt my feelings, unintentionally. What do I do? Watch her video and bawl. Then what do I do? Make Matt watch it w/ me. :) After he saw it he said, "Yep, that was sad, thanks for that Megan." I can laugh now b/c I ran out of tears. You see, I watched that video a good 5 times.

I'm dehydrated, I'm going to get a glass of water.

here's the link... do watch it, but have a tissue handy
http://www.gospelmusicchannel.com/videos/exclusive

It's a New Year

New Year new me? Kind of I guess... I have a bigger waist line this year than last and I don't care. Why? B/c I'm having another baby!! What is it? We don't know, it's for sure either a boy or girl. Which do we prefer? We don't care. I just hope I can get my old belly back. Doubtful? Yeah, you're probably right.