So a few weeks ago, our church was doing the series One Prayer.
During the last week of the series, Lifechurch was joining forces with Compassion International. There was something like 4,000 kids from Ecuador set aside for all of our campuses to adopt.
The service is over, we go grab the kids, pass the desk with all the pictures of the kids and head for the doors. I'm dragging my feet because I feel like we are supposed to get a kid.
I start asking Matt what he thinks, all the while I'm giving reasons as to why we can't afford it. "We can't cut out eating out because we don't do that very often at all. We can't cut any salon visits because I don't do that often enough as it is, I mean look at my hair! We can't we can't we can't."
Matt says, "Soo you wanna go look?"
I look at him, all the while thinking, "I am totally trying to talk you and myself out of this and you wanna go look?"
Normally, I have to convince Matt of something that costs money. I can look at him, hug him, bat my eyes and I get my way. Not because he's weak but because he is madly in love with me. He's a gentlemen that loves his wife.
So I'm standing there stunned. In my head I begin to revisit the conversation that originally took place. How we can't yada yada yada.
"Ok, ya, let's go look."
We go to the table and Matt begins sifting through pictures. I'm telling myself if he wants to do this he is going to pick one out. Cooper is trying to pull my dress down so I will pay attention to him, Chloe is sitting in the middle of everything eating her regular 'after church snack' of cheese crackers, otherwise known as, Cheeze-It's.
"Megan, look at this little dude."
I walk over and staring back at me is a tiny little dark skinned boy with the sweetest face. "Oh man. How old is he?" I look at his DOB. "Matt he's three!"
I ask the Compassion helper, "Do you have a little girl that is three?" In my mind I'm thinking of Chloe and this girl growing up as pen pals or something fluffy like that. I am thinking how this can be a lesson for her as she grows older.
"Why do you want a girl? Does it really matter?" asks Matt.
"No, but..." I don't finish when the helper says, "Here's one."
I grab her card, look at her with her jet black shoulder length hair, bright orange shirt, and girly pink flip flops. Her birthday is in December. "Matt, look at her."
Matt giggles because she is absolutely adorable yet has this ornery look about her. I show her to Chloe, "I like her fwip fwops."
So we sign up.
In the car, I am having an internal panic attack. We don't make enough. We aren't out of debt yet. blah blah blah.
"Matt we can cut back on our cell phone minutes. That'll save like $20."
I begin to spill my guts:
I've wanted a Compassion Child for the longest time, but I felt like the timing was never right. I didn't want to live out of my comfort zone. I didn't want to live without my chai's or my cable or going to Wal-Mart when I please. I am realizing I have wanted to live outside my box. I need to live inside my box. (The sermon that day was about the box mentality. Go to www.lifechurch.tv to watch the message) I have wanted to have my 'things' and still do good for others. Sometimes it doesn't work that way. Matt, I am going to have to trust God that he will provide for us because this is going to be a lot of money right now. But I felt like if I walked out of there without a child I was going against what the Holy Spirit was pushing me to do. And you don't want to disobey the Holy Spirit.
I continue on and on until we are nearly home.
As soon as we get home, I put her picture on the fridge right next to the freezer door handle. Now when I open the door to the fridge or freezer, I see her face and wonder, "What is J. eating tonight?" I see that little chubby face scowling at me and smile. She may be three, but she is, she has weaseled her way into my heart that was filled with selfishness.
I called my MIL that evening and told her what we had done & my reservations. She said, "Megan, God will provide for you guys. It might be rough, but he will provide."
So this past week, the Compassion money came out. Now how our pay works, the first of the month paycheck is small. We are always strapped to the max until the 15th. We didn't think the money would come out until after the 15th.
Well it did, and it stung. "How is Matt going to get to work? How am I going to feed all of us? How is this going to work?......"
On Sunday, our church covered "Blind Side" the movie. (It's At The Movies. You should join us)
The verse was Hebrews 13:16 NKJV "But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."
Craig asked us "Who is God calling you to reach out to, to bless, to mentor. Maybe God wants you to reach out to your next door neighbor. Maybe you should adopt, foster or reach out to a single mom. Who is God calling you to reach out to b/c God might use you to change their life and God might use theirs to change yours."
I looked at Matt and smiled. My throat was filled with tears. Because it was then, I knew. I knew we had done the right thing. I asked Matt, "Were you thinking of J?" He looked at me and said, "Yep."
We get home from church, we are exhausted. Everyone takes a nap. After we all awoke froma semi coma, Matt and Chloe ran an errand. He gets home and tosses an envelope at me, "This was on the car."
"Hmm," it wasn't addressed to anyone, just blank, "is it a card?"
I open it and out falls two gift cards totalling $65. Almost double what we give for our Compassion Child.
I start to cry, "What is it? What is it?!" Matt is worried. I toss the cards to him. He just laughs.
I am stunned.
I tell him, "Matt I have been worried. I have been internally panicking because I didn't know what we were going to do this week for food!"
So we stop and we just tell God thanks and we pray for those who just lived out Hebrews 13:16 nkjv
"But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." Hebrews 13:16 NKJV