Slow In Speech

Recently, I was asked to give my testimony... in front of people, women, moms, more than my close friends, strangers, a group of women. Eek!

My first reaction was, "Of Course!"

My second reaction was, "Oh I had better pray about it."

Third reaction came about an hour later, but it was God, "Pray about it, Megan? Are you serious? You need to ask me if you should share MY story? Humph."

Fourth reaction was from me, "But you know I don't speak as well as I used to. I get lost in my thoughts, I can't keep a thought, I can't think of words at times... You know. My speaking is not as easy as my writing."

Fifth reaction, with Scripture reference, from God, "And? What about Moses."

Exodus 4:10-12

But Moses pleaded with the Lord, "O Lord, I'm not very god with words. I never have been, and I'm not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled."

11)Then the Lord asks Moses, "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord?

12) Now GO! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say."
I may not struggle with my words like Moses, who is believed to suffer from stuttering, I still have issues with words coming to my mind.

So with my tail between my legs, I will obey.

Late Wordless Wednesday

Weekly "I AM"

Outside my window... the wind is blowing, as usual. Everything got a bath last night, so the plants look greener and happier.

I am thinking... how great I felt while on those meds and now I feel like poop, literal poop, the stinkiest poop you can find. Not sure why people use the phrase, "I feel like poop" because I didn't know poop felt or had feelings like a human, but since my mind can't think straight, I will say, I feel like poop. I hope I feel like a human being again. I am typing part of this on Sunday night and my hope is when I wake I will feel better. I also think that I am so thankful to everyone who has been praying for me, please continue. AND if I make absolutely no sense in this post, please come back. My brain is seriously not working. It has shut down and therefore I can hardly form a sentence. I feel like I'm blogging a bunch of tweets; random thoughts. *I typed this last night, as of this morning, I don't feel as poopy.

I am planning to cook... spinach pizza, tortelini soup and chicken burgers. Some suuper easy meals that require little to no thinking or planning.

I am reading... I'm still reading through Love Wins by Rob Bell. I put it down because I was tired of what he was saying and frankly disgusted at some of his uses of Scripture. If I am going to share my opinions, which I plan on, I don't want to have to preface with "I only read half the book." So I am dredging on. I do have a few more in line that I am super super excited about. I bought the book called The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. Some friends let me borrow Radical Together by David Platt, it's not out yet, they were given and Advanced Copy. Those are the next two in line. *The Hiding Place is free on ChristianAudio.com You can download it for free. I got it for Matt to listen to. He's read the book before, but said he wouldn't mind going through it again. Just a little FYI. ChristianAudio offeres a free audio book every month*

I am wearing... the same thing I always do. A prom dress.

I am hearing... C3 chattering and it makes me want to burst out in tears because she is getting so big and I'm not ready for her to go to school, graduate, get a boyfriend, get married and have children! I mean this will happen tomorrow people! Oy. "Hot dog, hot dog hot diggidy dog..." I hear Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

I am learning... that I can not do this alone. I have needed the prayers of my friends and family. I have needed the help of my husband. So many times I try to just power through. I'm used to powering through. When I could workout or run, powering through is what got me a great run, now if I power through I might end up with another IV line in my arm. HA! So I am slowly learning to heed to the whispers of my body. I am slowly learning...

I am praying... for my body to rebound. For my patience, as I am not being a very patient person right now. I'm praying for healing, my family and all of you. I mean that, I am really praying blessings upon you. I hope everyone has an amazingly WEiRD day.

Mission Accomplished

I just spent a few moments reviewing the past three days, how it's been a whirlwind of running here, there and everywhere. The emotions have been high, low and somewhere in between. Apparently a side effect is 'inability to sleep.' I realized that this morning when I woke at 4:30am, got up at 5:00,went into "crazy cleaning, accomplish the world" mode all day, that something was up and I wanted more 'roids.

I was thinging about the people I encountered today and the past two days.

There was a pregnant lady, 26 weeks to be exact. She walked in after me on Wednesday. She didn't look good. Apparently she pukes her guts out 24/7 and has to have almost constant fluids put into her through her PIC line. Yes, the poor girl has a PIC line in her inner arm, near her armpit. I started talking to her, wanted to hear her story.

She's having their first daughter and has an almost three year old son at home. Husband lost his job recently due to 'restructuring.' She's a dental hygienist, loves her job, but has been unable to work much because she's constantly at the hospital. She can't have a home health care nurse because she works out of the home. Has mounting medical bills, BUT her baby is healthy. I asked if she has a church home, she does. Sweet girl, just sick of vomiting.

The other person in the area was Mr. Bob. I didn't speak to Mr. Bob, I wanted to but the poor man was having a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy. And yes, it sounds as bad as it was. He was a tough cookie though, never made a sound. When I heard the Dr. explain the procedure I nearly cried for the man. It's believed he has a form of lymphoma. Sad. He sure did have an amazing attitude. I heard him say he doesn't have much energy anymore and can muster enough to work in the yard.

There was a lady on Thursday who was getting a blood transfusion. That same day was an elderly man, who looked like he had cancer. He was getting something dripped into him. He looked so frail. It hurt my heart.

I wondered why I was there. It's not like God said, "Ah pearly gates, I lost Megan again. Where did I send her? Hey Peter! Where's Megan?"

He sent me there. He had a mission.

When I walked out of those doors, I hope, He smiled and said, "Mission Accomplished."

9 fnger wonder

Ths s what a post loos le when you dont have the ablty to use your mddle fnger on your rght hand. You loose the ablty to type the letter and the letter and to use the or comma. had a great post n mnd but then realzed t would not mae much sense f t looed le a cryptogram.

Revamped To Do's

To Do's for April 6, 2011

• Take kids to school


• Pray while driving to neuro, ask God to heal me


• Run to the neuro, tell him how you have felt pretty good and be excited about it


• Drink coffee lots of coffee


• Make a short 1 item run to Wal-Mart


• Take some donate items by Birthright


• Take C2's shot records to school


• Pick up kids


• Cook dinner


• Corral kids the rest of the evening

That's as far as I got on that list.

Now let me present the "To Do List that actually got To Do'd"

• Take kids to school


• Run to neuro and nearly fall out in the lobby of the building


• Panic


• Cry


• Panic


• Cry


• Beg


• Talk to dr only I have no idea what I was saying to him


• Talk to dr only I have no idea what he was saying to me


• Get charged for the visit in which no one knew what anyone was talking about


• Pull Matt from work to take me to hospital


• Get an IV full of steroids


• Cuddle with C3 while getting meds dripped into my forearm


• Be thankful I'm not the lady next door getting an IV because I'm pucking my guts out and I'm pregnant


• Be told by a nurse I get to leave the line in my arm until after my infusion Friday. When I tell her I'm a Mom to three littles, she just says, "I'll wrap it really well."


• Have a mouth that tastes like I've been eating batteries or licking metal posts


• Be the recipient of a massive headache


• Matt picks up kids


• Make a run to kid's school because C2 beloved 'silky' was left


• Reassure C1 I'm not bleeding to death


• Reassure C2 "it doesn't hurt"


• Have dinner brought to us by a dear friend


• Realize how many people care for me


• Figure out how to accept the offers of help


• Lay in bed all evening


• Cuddle with C2 in my bed because he loves to cuddle


• Smile about the thought of my lug of butter loving to cuddle


• Watch church online with M1 (husband)


• Sit in bed while my house sleeps typing this post and think "I should definitely stop drinking coffee before bed


• Then decide I will stop when it becomes super hot


• I need a pedicure


• Listen to M1 sleep


• Thank God


• Don't scratch a single item of the list because everything happened so fast you forgot a pen

After my convo with God this morning and then the way things happened, one might say to ones self "Hmm, this is not what I pictured today looking like." So as Matt is driving us back to The Ville, I said to myself "Hmm, this is not what I pictured today looking like."

So as I wiggle my tongue like a horse with peanut butter in the mouth only I have metal in mine, I will end with this...

Psalm 144: 3-4 "O Lord, what are human beings that you should notice them, mere mortals that you should think about them? 4 For they are like a breath of air; their days are like a passing shadow." NLT

Life is short. David reminds us that it is "like a breath" and that our "days are like a passing shadow." Because life is short, we should live for God while we have the time. Don't waste your life by selecting an inferior purpose that has no lasting value. Live for God- He alone can make your life worthwhile, purposeful, and meaningful. -YouVersion Bible App

I've been using the Life Application Study Bible ® Devotion Reading Plan at YouVersion.com. You might enjoy it, or one of the many other plans that are available. Check it out at YouVersion.com.

Saving Souls

Warning: This post will contain oozing thoughts. Oozing thoughts are unpredictable and can not be contained. The ooze goes where it pleases.

"Ahh, warm water. Ugh, that's dirt." I said to myself as I was washing my feet in the bathtub. I don't like my feet to feel dirty. In fact, I always have a pair of socks on when in my house. The cold floor plus remnants of everything the kids have eaten since the last time I vacuumed or swept, is something my feet and my psychy can't handle, so I always wear socks.

That was how the morning ended.

This is how it began...

Me talking to God: Today is One Day Without Shoes, cool huh? (I proceed to tell him what it's all about as if He doesn't know.)
God: You should go without today.
Me: Eh, I'll have to walk in a parking lot and into the Y. You know that's gross! People will stare, talk, some might cackle, whisper, make fun.....
God: They do the same stuff to me Megan, I know the drill. You used to be a little attention drawer, go draw some attention.
Me: But..
God: GO

"She doesn't have any shoes on." Said a lady to her friend as they were walking out of the YMCA as I was walking in. I'm not sure who she thought I was, if I suffered from a memory problem and forgot to put shoes on this morning or if I was some radical tree hugging, kumbaya singing, kid lugging mom that doesn't wear shoes because they contain chemicals. I don't know, but the shock in her voice was quite humorous.

Went to my Bible study, studied, prayed, grabbed the kids and left. Walking to the car, more people whispered about my bare feet. By now, my feet are frozen and the asphalt is slightly painful, especially that itty bitty pebble that was stuck to my heel.

Dropped my maternity clothes off with a friend, she's having her third boy. I made a point while walking back to the car, to walk on her grass. I needed to feel something soft.

As soon as I got home, I headed to the tub to warm and wash my feet.

God: As you wash your feet clean, do you see how symbolic all of this is?
Me: Yep. (I talk like a hick to God, His idea not mine since He created me.)

Today is One Day Without Shoes. TOMSshoes and Compassion joined forces to bring awareness to all the kids in the world who don't have shoes. Some can't go to school because shoes are part of the uniform. Some get serious infections that are completely a million percent preventable with soles on their feet.

It might seem like a simple thing; go without shoes. But it's so much deeper than not grabbing your flip flops as you leave the house.

While praying in my Bible study the leader said something that was perfect. "Jesus, as we pray for the soles of people's feet, we also pray for their souls to be filled with You."

That's really what it's all about for me. I will go without shoes for souls.

*For every pair of shoes bought, TOMSshoes donates a pair. One for One*