Needles of Torture.

You want to see a grown woman get choked up? Ask her to hold her daughter's arms like she is a criminal so a nurse can poke her three times in her scrawny 38 pound legs with a torture device filled with what was describe by your daughter as acid. (Acid is my word not hers.)

You want to see a grown MAN get choked up? Ask him to hold his son down like he is a deranged lunatic so a nurse can poke him three times in his scrawny 37 pound legs with a torture device filled with what seemed like fire and listen to you son beg for mercy and shake with pain. <---- That my friends brings a strong man to tears. My tears came when I was driving home and I no longer needed to hide it.

Taking an infant in for shots is nothing. I'd much rather do that than what I had to endure today ever. again! I just realized I get to do it two more times and Coop probably will get some for Kinder next year. Joy.

Driving home, reliving the screams of horror and pain I started thinking.

I bet it brings that unswallowable lump in God's throat to see His children in pain.

When the kids were done, we held them for a long time while they cried and we reassured them it was over and going to be o.k. So thankful we have His lap to climb into so we can cry while He reassures us it's going to be o.k.

Now I must go mend my hurting heart.

Letting Go

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Boy is that a verse that is used A LOT! If I am being honest, it can be annoying to hear it. It's like the go to verse when people are going through something. It's the verse for "Ohhhh, I'll pray for you." It's the "I don't know what else to say and I have this one verse memorized so I'm going to use that and hope it makes you feel better" verse.

One might go as far as to say "Jeremiah 29:11 is the 'bless your heart' of the Bible." Ok, so I'll go as far as to say that.

Not doggin' the Bible! Just that verse gets used for everything in life from the big events to the little.

All that to say is, God used this verse on me this morning and I had a good tearful laugh/cry while on a spin bike. I guess God said, "Bless your heart, Megan."

Hubs and I had just received the 'no news news' on the house. Up until today I have been good. I have been ever so patient. I haven't worried or fretted or really even cared. Then today's call came. (see previous post on the no info info we got)

I hung up the phone, walk in to spin class with blurry teary eyes, trying to hide it, hop on a bike and just start asking God "What's going on?"

I'm waffling back and forth on what we should do; wait or walk, wait or walk......

Then I remember an event in my life that I wish I had walked and I have regretted it ever since.

When we worked at the boy's ranch, there was an event that took place that ended with me bawling my eyes out in a closet telling Matt to pack our stuff, we are out of here.

I finally came out of the closet, (hehe) and calmed down and changed my mind, I wanted to stay. Looking back, I should have ran to the nearest U-Haul place, grabbed a truck and left the ranch in my dust, but I didn't and the pain that followed was nearly unbearable. The anger and bitterness I held on to nearly destroyed me.

Back to the spin bike:

I'm peddling, at a rather slow rate because of the the giant baby in my belly, and those memories flood my mind as does Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans. Period." The first part of the verse was echoing in my head. "For I know the plans. For I know the plans."

He said, "Megan, do you believe that I truly know the plans for your family's life? Remember there is more to what I said, "to prosper you, Megan. Not to harm you, to give you hope and a future."

Side note: Prosper doesn't always mean cash money in the bank. I think it mostly means, happiness and joy.

"For HE knows the plans."

I realized I need to let go of this vision of my family in this house. I am letting go of the massive square footage and the 3 full baths. I am letting go of the family room where I saw all of us watching movies. I am letting go of the great neighborhood. I am letting go....

So today we are going to look at some rentals and we are bringing the checkbook. We have not formally pulled our offer. Sure don't want to be without a rental and no offer on a table so we will look and decide by the end of this week. Time is running out!

In full disclosure: If our people called today and said, "We have a deal!" I would jump on it. In full disclosure. :)

It took until today to finally be able to really let it all go. Just to say, "I'm done." is freeing. To finally not feel so stuck and in limbo, is nice.

So here comes the good news. It comes in verse 12, "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." AMEN!

Bank of America Blows

Life is crazy, yes?

We have been in the process of buying a house since March 15 of this year. That was the day we made our offer.

We have been waiting ever since.

The house we bid on was/is a short sale with Bank Of America. *doom doom dooooooom*

Yes, it is as awful as people say it is, the 'buying' process of a short sale with BOA, that is.

Weeks will go by and we will hear nothing. Then we will hear something, BUT it has nothing to do with us becoming any closer to buying a house. Matt signed papers the other day. Those papers asked if we worked for BOA or had a family member that worked for BOA, both of which we don't. BUT I think that is something that should have been asked on Day 1! We were at least 2 months into the waiting process and got a letter saying "the house is eligable for short sale." HUH? It took you fools two months to say that?!

Then we get an email in which BOA states their terms and what they will agree to. "Tell us where to sign!" We cheer. Then we find out it was papers that had nothing to do with actually buying this home. It all has made absolutely no sense what so ever. I try to explain it to people and they look at me with this bewildered face...... You know why? Because common sense says, "that doesn't make sense." I know. We have come to realize Bank of America opperates minus common sense hence the reason they are in the boat they are in and the rest of us are not; boat with holes with people in it that can't and won't take charge AND don't know what a boat is.

When we put a bid in on March 15, I thought surely we'd be in our new house by July. Boy, was I wrong. I really didn't want to spend another summer here in The Ville, but we did. I was hoping to have things situated and semi organized for the arrival of C4. Boy, was I wrong again.

Realtor called this morning. He had zero news, of course. He said, "BOA has a deadline to close on Aug. 17." We have heard this all before, "they have a deadline for this or that." That time comes and goes and we are no better off than prior to this imaginary deadline.

Our fear is waiting until this 'deadline' and then they extend it which will most likely happen. These people are some of the dumbest I have ever encountered.

We haven't even had an inspection yet because we can't get the proper paperwork.

Sooo this leads in to another post......

Off Season

I posted a month or so ago that Chloe started T-ball. Well, the season has come to an end and I am not exactly sure if she loved it. I think she enjoyed herself when there was something to do like hit or catch a ball. All that standing or sitting in the grass, just isn't her thing. We are thinking soccer might be more up her alley of activities. When the time comes next Spring, we'll probably try it again, we'll see.

Post Season Slushies

Waterballoon Attack

I saw an idea on the infamously famous Pinterest. The idea was for Christmastime. The concept was a virtual snowball fight using mini marshmallows. I idea was each kid gets a bag of  'snowballs' and attacks the Dad when he walks in the house. Have no fear though, on the door for the Dad to see when he enters the house is his own bag of ammo and a note saying something to the effect of, "Use these."

Since it's been over 100 degrees all week, I thought a pretend snowball fight would just be insulting to our sweaty armpits, so waterballoons became our weapon of choice.

Matt parks across the street, so I placed the following note with a bag of waterballoons, on the the mailbox.

Matt called to say he was on his way. The assailants and I ran outside and hid by the van as he drove up. Matt got out of the truck and I saw him approach the mailbox. "HA!" He said. "Attack!!!" I yelled.

 Kids began launching their balloons at Dad and to their demise, they don't throw hard enough for the balloons to bust on Dad so in turn they had the tables turned and became the vicitms of their own game! Matt tried to get them to pop on him by standing still but those balloons would not bust! The hunters very quickly became prey.

I sat on the porch with Colbie and had the best time watching them all laugh and attack each other. Our next weapon of choice for an upcoming Friday; super soakers. I think the kids will have more success getting Dad with those. :)

Warrior Dash 2012

Three point two miles, 8-10 obstacles, mud, thousands of crazy people, more mud, fire, barbed wire and a great time. That is part of the Warrior Dash way.

Matt and I ran it last year and I had the time of my life. It was more than a race for me. (Symbols)

Being as how I am big and round, I had to sit out this year. Matt ran with his sister and a friend/co-worker, Tanner. I was very jealous BUT it was a fun experience getting to see him run. The best part? I was able to take pictures that are free! I don't have to buy them from WD people.

Colbie and I set up camp at the last obstacle.

The cargo net and the 'jump over fire' were the obstacles leading up to the mud pit covered in barbed wire. The fire wasn't as big this year as it was last year. Kind of disappointing.

Closer look at the pit.

I put pictures of Tanner on here because I got some really good ones.

This is one of my favorites I took. He looks angry, probably because he's drinking mud.

Matt's turn to swim!

He said it was a lot deeper than he had expected. Right before he came through, the WD Staff People had a Bobcat and was adding dirt to the pit.

Blah! But a fun Blah!

Almost there.

And like a good big brother, he turns to wait on his sister.

She's truckin' through.

Proud! As she should be, she had a great time and a great ranking.

Love him.

They did it!! Tanner and Amy have officially become Warrior Dash pro's!

Brother and Sister.

Next up for these two (and Tanner) is Conquer the Gauntlet. They are insane; four miles plus 30 obstacles in August. Whew!! BUT they've got it handled. :)

Knox Reunion 2012

Knox Reunion at Fin and Feather on Lake Tenkiller. This is our third year at the Fin and we just love it. Could not ask for a better place for a large family to gather, make memories and enjoy each others company.

I took Colbie on a walk the first morning so I could see the lake. This is the view. Just amazing.

Although she doesn't look it, this girl loves the water. She does hate having her picture taken which is why she looks silly.

Part of my crew. All three are very tired.

I'm not sure what this is called other than tight rope walking.

All the kids took a turn.

Coop and his worm.

I'm not sure how many laps they made, but Colbie and Grandpa walked around the pond for quite a while. Colbie was loving it. She was swinging her arm back and forth. That would be the equivalent to a dog wagging its tail.

The infamous tree frog. Cooper found this on a slide at the park. Needless to say, Chloe was absolutely in love. I'm not gonna lie, I kind of was too. It's actually quite rare to find one of these in this part of Oklahoma.

Here is the map of where the American Green Tree Frog is generally located and it is not near Lake Tenkiller. For nerds like Chloe and I, this was very exciting to find.

 Probably one of the coolest things we have found or got to hold... so far. When we let it go, Chloe cried. She was genuinely upset. Someone told her, "This is where he lives. We need to let him stay here." This might work for the general population of kids when you want them to leave a bug or something behind, but these sentences do not work for my child. She has a heart for creatures and the 'run of the mill' adult reasons to leave it behind do not work. Soooo because I felt bad, I promised her a fish when we move.

Cooper being Cooper.

Cousin feet. They are all country kids at heart. I'm not sure why any of them brought shoes because they never wore them. The only reason those pink Crocs are being worn was because she was just given them. They literally ran everywhere barefoot. Makes me laugh. It's fun being a kid.

Cooper being Cooper, again. This is 10 out of the 13 cousins.

Chloe and her frog.