What do you do when your almost 21 month old hits you, repeatedly? If I tell her not to do something she will hit me, usually on the chest. If I tell her, in a stern voice, not to hit me she will hit me again. Today I guess I wasn't paying enough attention to her and she smacked me on the leg. I didn't say anything, so she decides to hit Cooper on his head. I snatched her up and dragged her to her room w/o her silky (her fav. blanket) and tossed her in her bed all the while telling her as stern as I could, "YOU DO NOT HIT YOUR BROTHER!" She cried, but not b/c she was in her bed, but b/c she didn't have her silky.
So I ask you, what do I do? Just let her grow out of it? I had heard once that toddlers hit b/c they have no other way to express their anger, like it's instinctive. Makes sense I guess, but how do I change her instincts?
This evening we were at Lowe's (the whole fam.) buying chair railing stuff for Coop's room. Chloe just hauls off and hits me b/c I told her to quit messing with Cooper's car seat (he was sleeping). Matt tells her in his very stern voice, "DO NOT HIT YOUR MOM!" So what does she do? She hits me again.
It's an endless cycle.
My little boy hits everyonce in awhile. He does it for attention, he usually smiles and then frowns right away because he knows he will get in trouble for it. I think its totally necessary to correct them and let them know that it is NOT okay...but to remember that, like you said they are just expressing themselves..and I don't think it's always expressing anger...could be frustration, lack of attention, or many other things. I know one thing that has really helped with us is to explain to him that it hurts. At first I would get upset and say "don't hit!" and he seemed to not even hear me. Then I started telling him "that really hurt mommy, don't hit me because it hurts..you know it's wrong to hit.." and so on..that seemed to work better with mine because he would instantly say "sorry mom" and kiss me where he hit. We don't have too many hits anymore and I don't know if he just grew out of it or he realized that it is wrong to hurt mommy....hope this helps!:)and remember...this too shall pass!
ReplyDeleteI think you should just haul off and hit her back....ok, before you call DHS, I am just kidding. We havn't had a bad hitting phase yet, she has hit in the past but only like 2 times. I think she learned at the sitters that it's not ok to hit (one girl hits B a lot)When she did hit us we would tell her that she was being mean and that it was not nice to hurt people, then we would send her booty to the time out chair. The part about it hurting us always works. She'll say sorry momma and then give me a kiss and a hug! I think what you are doing as far as taking her silky away is VERY GOOD, since she loves it so much. Maybe the silky needs to spen some time in timeout, that also works for us. When B is not being nice to me I will put myself in time out and she has a hard time with that b/c she can't talk to me or do anything with me till my time is up. Just a thought!
ReplyDeleteI like the previous ideas. I don't have a toddler yet, but I think I would explain that it's not nice to hit people and that it hurts and can make u cry. Then follow with discipline of your choice, every time. I know they say not to spank b/c it teaches them to hit, but I dunno...always got my attention!
ReplyDeleteThe only time Camden becomes an angry elf (besides when he is hungry or sleepy) is when he feels like he is not getting enough attention. When this is the case, he goes and dumps Gracie's water bowl, stands up on the couch, or dumps his cheerios. It's almost like he would rather get negative attention, than not at all. It seems like the more of the reaction I give,("You KNOW not to...blah blah!" in a loud shrieking voice) the crazier he gets after that. She might be reeling from the affects of having someone else to share the attention with because I refuse to believe that sweet smiling Chloe has an intentional mean streak to her :-) Once I get to the hitting chapter in "Love and Logic for Early Childhood" I'll let you know :-)
ReplyDeleteSounds a lot like Jonah a few weeks after River came home. She may need some "special alone time" with you. It also just took Jonah some time to adjust to sharing me....it's tough.....those first months after bringing River home were the months Jonah made me cry. It gets better...I promise. I let Jonah help me with River as much as possible. I wanted him to start taking ownership of his baby brother. By letting Jonah help me take care of River has helped him treat him as a family member not an intruder. :) Honestly, we are old fashion too, we give swats for unacceptable behavior.
ReplyDeleteI highly recommend reading a couple of my favorite parenting books. The first book we read on discipline was "To Train up a Child" by Michael and Debbie Pearl. But the book I recommend above all is "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp (Amazing)