Thursday, April 16, 2009

Trust Fall

Yesterday, I was sitting on the floor on my knees. Chloe ran to me arms stretched out. She put her hands in mine and with out hesitation, proceeded to fall backwards, legs stiff and her feet under my knees.

I laughed. I would let her lean just a little, to try and gain her trust. As we continued the game I wanted to see just how much she trusted me. So I let her lean back a little further- 45 degrees. So I let her lean just a hair further. She sits down. She doesn't trust me enough to go all the way to the floor.

This morning, I awoke to an annoying yet lovely cardinal outside my window whistling for a girlfriend and in the not so faint background I could hear three dogs barking at one another. So I lay there and wonder if it will stop. It doesn't, so I think.

I run through the events of yesterday. Chloe's trust fall pops into my mind. I wonder, "Why didn't she trust me the whole way to the floor? What have I done to cause her not to trust me?"

So many times in my life, I trust God until I get to that 45 degree mark. Just after 45 degrees things start to get a little uncomfortable, fear sets in and I sit down. I don't trust God to take me gently to the floor.

Just like Chloe didn't trust me to lead her gently and safely to the floor, I don't trust God for the WHOLE 'fall' just the easy part, the comfortable part.

If only I could throw my arms up, listen to God say, "Do you trust me? 1,2,3 fall Megan."

1 comment:

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. -Corinthians 5:14