A Run

In June of 2005, I went out for my usual run along the banks of the beautiful Claremore lake aka. Claremore's water supply. We moved to Claremore in March of 2005, Matt got a new job with Fastenal and our life was getting back to a sense of normalcy after leaving the ranch.

Normalcy? I say that, but I was still in a funk. I was still hurting, I was still slightly angry and I was still slightly blaming myself for our situation. In order to make pain go away, some people drink, some smoke, some shop, some even eat. I on the other hand, would run. I would run until I was to the point of shear pain. I longed for it really. The pain that is. I felt I deserved it, but I also loved the feeling of accomplishment when I got done and my body was soaked to my underwear and my eyes would sting from the sweat droplets. I hated Claremore with a passion, but I loved running there. I actually miss that about that town.

Then one day, it happened. I take that first jogging step and BAM! I drop to my knees. I can't feel my legs. They are completely numb all the way to my toes. It's that feeling you get when you've been sitting on your feet and when you try to wake them up your legs go all 'pins and needles' on you. You know that feeling?

I had that feeling, only I couldn't feel my legs. I couldn't tell where they were in space. I felt like Phoebe running. All spastic looking.

After many doctor visits, blood tests, MRI's, a MS scare, questions and no answers, I gave up.

In October of 2005, I started to be able to exercise again. I still couldn't run, but I could do water aerobics. Then in November of 2005, I learned I was pregnant.

I hadn't had a problem since.

Until right after Christmas. I can no longer feel my right leg. Not sure why, not sure how, but hopefully the feeling will return.

I have a P.T. friend who is attempting to 'fix' me. I sure hope I'm fixable b/c the weather has been calling for a run.