There has been a lot of twitter chatter about Rob Bell's new book Love Wins.
I wanted to find out for myself if what was being said, he's a universalist, was true.
My answer: ummmmm
I started the book, stopped the book, wanted to throw away the book, read some more, stopped, used it as a doily, read some more, let my kids use it as a train station, read some more....... and I'm still not finished.
It has taken me this long because I'm confused.
I feel like his ideals are so analytical of the Bible that it makes no sense. It seems like Bell feels he's actually adding something profound to the Christian ideals and philosophy.
His misuse of Scripture in the very beginning soured my heart to the rest of the book. I can not stand when Scripture is twisted to meet another persons philosophy.
I don't feel like when God wrote the Bible he said, "Oh wait until I bring you Rob Bell, he will have the answers to what I really meant within the pages."
I love Bell's Nooma videos, they are wonderful, but the book. Yeah, don't waste your money or your brain cells. I'd write a better review, but my mind doesn't work like his. I'm a simple believer.
Here is a review, from RELEVANT Magazine, that pretty much sums up my feelings.
**Book number 8 in my #26in52**
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Holiday Letdown
I love Christmas. As soon as the Peppermint Mocha CoffeeMate Creamer hits the shelves, I begin playing Christmas music, pull out the tree, the lights and my dinky house gets ready. I begin making Christmas present lists for the kids, dig up Christmasy recipes and buy all the canned pumpkin my pantry will hold. The inside of my house gets decorated with those twinkling little lights and when all the regular lights are off and just the glow of the tiny lights shine, my house feels cozy and happy.
Then Christmas comes. We visit family, we make the rounds and then it's over.
That's it. Done. Finished. Have to wait another 364 days until it happens again.
Enter Holiday Letdown.
Christmas usually doesn't pack the punch I always vision it will pack. Nine Christmases out of ten, I get Holiday letdown. I build it up into this grandiose holiday with family, friends, lots of food and then it's over and I get sad.
I experienced a letdown of another kind the other day.
On Monday, I gave my testimony to my MOPS group.
I planned to talk about the part of my life beginning with my diagnosis. August of 2009 until now has the most umph, it contains the best part; the vividness of God is so bright during this part that I wanted to share. Don't get me wrong, my whole life contains God's light in my life, but now I see it the best. My eyes & heart are clearer, if you will.
It's my turn to speak. I grab my notes, my phone, a pen, pick my stomach off the floor and walk up to the front. I wasn't nervous, until I stood up and then I felt as if I wanted to vomit and bawl all at the same time. I. Was. So. Nervous.
I open my mouth and I can't really tell you what came out because I didn't use my notes!
Then my turn is over. I sit down, a friend hands me C3, I walk to the bathroom, open a stall, enter, put the lid down, tell God thanks for toilet lids, and proceed to bawl my eyes out.
Why? I can only chalk it up to hormones and nerves. When I get really nervous about something, then it's over, I always cry. It happened after my first gyno visit. I bawled for hours after that horrifying event.
I exit the bathroom looking like I smoked something while in the stall, sit down and try to hold it together when anyone says, "You did good."
I felt as if I had made absolutely no sense and I let God down and the people that asked me to speak.
As I'm writing this, it's a few days later, and I still feel like I could have done better. Even though the skies were dark and the rain was falling, my prayer is that my heart was bright and the God I love and serve shined through and that no one had Holiday/ Testimony Letdown.
Then Christmas comes. We visit family, we make the rounds and then it's over.
That's it. Done. Finished. Have to wait another 364 days until it happens again.
Enter Holiday Letdown.
Christmas usually doesn't pack the punch I always vision it will pack. Nine Christmases out of ten, I get Holiday letdown. I build it up into this grandiose holiday with family, friends, lots of food and then it's over and I get sad.
I experienced a letdown of another kind the other day.
On Monday, I gave my testimony to my MOPS group.
I planned to talk about the part of my life beginning with my diagnosis. August of 2009 until now has the most umph, it contains the best part; the vividness of God is so bright during this part that I wanted to share. Don't get me wrong, my whole life contains God's light in my life, but now I see it the best. My eyes & heart are clearer, if you will.
It's my turn to speak. I grab my notes, my phone, a pen, pick my stomach off the floor and walk up to the front. I wasn't nervous, until I stood up and then I felt as if I wanted to vomit and bawl all at the same time. I. Was. So. Nervous.
I open my mouth and I can't really tell you what came out because I didn't use my notes!
Then my turn is over. I sit down, a friend hands me C3, I walk to the bathroom, open a stall, enter, put the lid down, tell God thanks for toilet lids, and proceed to bawl my eyes out.
Why? I can only chalk it up to hormones and nerves. When I get really nervous about something, then it's over, I always cry. It happened after my first gyno visit. I bawled for hours after that horrifying event.
I exit the bathroom looking like I smoked something while in the stall, sit down and try to hold it together when anyone says, "You did good."
I felt as if I had made absolutely no sense and I let God down and the people that asked me to speak.
As I'm writing this, it's a few days later, and I still feel like I could have done better. Even though the skies were dark and the rain was falling, my prayer is that my heart was bright and the God I love and serve shined through and that no one had Holiday/ Testimony Letdown.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
A Blooming Story
"Why won't God heal my son, Megan?"
This was the question given to me by a friend. It is one in where I have no answer.
"I don't know." I told her.
I wrote about reading The Hiding Place. That book has changed me. To thank the Lord while going through what Corrie Ten Boom went through during her time in various prisons during World War II, is something you have to learn from.
So when I was tossed this question, I twisted it to pertain to me. "Why won't God heal you?"
There have been lots of sermons, Bible verses and words from books pass across my eyes and heart lately. All of it by no accident. All these things are forming this beautiful bulb of a lesson that I am seeing sprout and will eventually bloom. I just hope the blossom stays forever and never fades.
Steven Furtick, author of Sun Stand Still, spoke at our church recently. He told a story about his grandfather. Furtick's grandmother was suffering terribly from Alzheimer's and the grandfather was caring for her. If you have ever met someone with this awful disease you know the grief a loved one goes through in caring for a person who's brain is not their own.
When the grandfather was asked, "How are you?" He would respond with, "100 percent." Furtick would say how he thought his grandfather was lying, he could not be one hundred percent. Then realized something.
"It depends on what you are measuring. If you are measuring his life according to his circumstances then no, he's not 100%. BUT if you are measuring his faith? Well, his faith stayed at 100%." -Furtick
His grandfather was finding Joy. His Joy was NOT in his circumstances but in His faith!
This is me!! I am seeing Joy everyday, at least I am trying. I am finding this wonderful joy in my faith and not in my circumstances. This body is not mine. It is God's. If he wants it to be scarred from head to toe, then so be it! I have to proclaim Him and I have to tell my story. How lucky I am to have a story. How boring it must be to have the white picket fence, dog, maybe a cat.. the perfect life and no story.
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." - Genesis 50:20
So while I know not why God won't heal her son or heal me. I will enjoy the journey. I will love turning the pages to my story as God narrates. I will listen with an open heart and thank Him for thinking of me when He sat down to write.
I pray no matter what story you are living, you will stop and thank God for being the perfect Author to a best seller; your life story.
This was the question given to me by a friend. It is one in where I have no answer.
"I don't know." I told her.
I wrote about reading The Hiding Place. That book has changed me. To thank the Lord while going through what Corrie Ten Boom went through during her time in various prisons during World War II, is something you have to learn from.
So when I was tossed this question, I twisted it to pertain to me. "Why won't God heal you?"
There have been lots of sermons, Bible verses and words from books pass across my eyes and heart lately. All of it by no accident. All these things are forming this beautiful bulb of a lesson that I am seeing sprout and will eventually bloom. I just hope the blossom stays forever and never fades.
Steven Furtick, author of Sun Stand Still, spoke at our church recently. He told a story about his grandfather. Furtick's grandmother was suffering terribly from Alzheimer's and the grandfather was caring for her. If you have ever met someone with this awful disease you know the grief a loved one goes through in caring for a person who's brain is not their own.
When the grandfather was asked, "How are you?" He would respond with, "100 percent." Furtick would say how he thought his grandfather was lying, he could not be one hundred percent. Then realized something.
"It depends on what you are measuring. If you are measuring his life according to his circumstances then no, he's not 100%. BUT if you are measuring his faith? Well, his faith stayed at 100%." -Furtick
His grandfather was finding Joy. His Joy was NOT in his circumstances but in His faith!
This is me!! I am seeing Joy everyday, at least I am trying. I am finding this wonderful joy in my faith and not in my circumstances. This body is not mine. It is God's. If he wants it to be scarred from head to toe, then so be it! I have to proclaim Him and I have to tell my story. How lucky I am to have a story. How boring it must be to have the white picket fence, dog, maybe a cat.. the perfect life and no story.
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." - Genesis 50:20
So while I know not why God won't heal her son or heal me. I will enjoy the journey. I will love turning the pages to my story as God narrates. I will listen with an open heart and thank Him for thinking of me when He sat down to write.
I pray no matter what story you are living, you will stop and thank God for being the perfect Author to a best seller; your life story.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Hiding Place
When I got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I can remember the look the doctor had on his face. He looked me in the eye and all I heard was, "Yes." I'm sure he had more to say, but the yes was all I needed to hear. I had received the answer to all my questions; life could proceed.
Since that day, I have tried to embrace the diagnosis. I have tried to believe all this tingling, loss of use of my arm, inability to exercise... has a purpose. I would tell myself those things, but if I am being honest, I was trying to con myself, which is hard to do.
Two weeks ago, I had a flare which got me a lovely IV line in my arm and a body full of steroids. I wrote that I knew God had a plan for that day and that it was by no accident I was there.
Come two weeks later, and I feel this overwhelming need, a desire maybe, to be happy. To scream, "Thank you JESUS!!" I feel like I am so lucky, honored perhaps, to have something that makes me want to draw near to Him. Daily, I go to Him for strength, daily I need Him to help me through. I have spent the past two weeks just listening to Him gently teaching me. And oh how I am learning!
I pray for healing. Matt prays for healing. We both agree that we would love for my body to be back to the way it were. We also agree, wholeheartedly, we don't want healing if this is His plan for our lives. Yes, I said it.
I don't want healing if this is what my story is supposed to be.
In The Hiding Place, Corrie and her sister Betsie are being held in a German prison. The 'bed' is infested with fleas. Betsie tells them they need to be thankful for the fleas, but Corrie finds them a difficult thing to be thankful for. While there, they are able to share the Gospel with their fellow prisoners. The guards wouldn't enter the area. The sisters come to realize the guards would not enter because of the fleas. They became so thankful for the fleas God provided so they could provide Hope to the women.
"Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
I am thankful for my fleas. I am thankful for my scars.
If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend. It's a story that makes you look within yourself. A story of redemption during a time of death, anger, darkness, fear, loss of hope; World War II This woman chose to rise above and stay true to her God.
**The Hiding Place was book 7 of my goal of #26in52**
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Summer Of The Crockpot
I've made an executive decision.
Our house is old; 1950's. This means that when the AC is on, we cool the 2 feet radius around our house. This also means when the heater is on we warm the 2 feet radius around our house. Point. Our house is not efficient. If I use the oven, my house will be warm all day long, therefore in the summer time, I rarely use the oven.
The decision:
THEME: CROCKPOT the summer in which I use my crockpot liberally.
This summer I will challenge myself to not use the oven for cooking our dinners. I will still use the stove top, but phase out the use of the dreaded oven.
I found a recipe the other day and have cooked it three times in the past 2 weeks. It's on the invite list to the crockpot party. If you have a crockpot meal you love share it with me!
Crockpot Chicken Tacos (with leftovers for Tortilla Soup)
Forgive me if i misplaced an A in for the O in the word crockpot any where in this post. I do not proofread.
Our house is old; 1950's. This means that when the AC is on, we cool the 2 feet radius around our house. This also means when the heater is on we warm the 2 feet radius around our house. Point. Our house is not efficient. If I use the oven, my house will be warm all day long, therefore in the summer time, I rarely use the oven.
The decision:
THEME: CROCKPOT the summer in which I use my crockpot liberally.
This summer I will challenge myself to not use the oven for cooking our dinners. I will still use the stove top, but phase out the use of the dreaded oven.
I found a recipe the other day and have cooked it three times in the past 2 weeks. It's on the invite list to the crockpot party. If you have a crockpot meal you love share it with me!
Crockpot Chicken Tacos (with leftovers for Tortilla Soup)
Forgive me if i misplaced an A in for the O in the word crockpot any where in this post. I do not proofread.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Slow In Speech
Recently, I was asked to give my testimony... in front of people, women, moms, more than my close friends, strangers, a group of women. Eek!
My first reaction was, "Of Course!"
My second reaction was, "Oh I had better pray about it."
Third reaction came about an hour later, but it was God, "Pray about it, Megan? Are you serious? You need to ask me if you should share MY story? Humph."
Fourth reaction was from me, "But you know I don't speak as well as I used to. I get lost in my thoughts, I can't keep a thought, I can't think of words at times... You know. My speaking is not as easy as my writing."
Fifth reaction, with Scripture reference, from God, "And? What about Moses."
Exodus 4:10-12
But Moses pleaded with the Lord, "O Lord, I'm not very god with words. I never have been, and I'm not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled."
11)Then the Lord asks Moses, "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord?
12) Now GO! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say."
I may not struggle with my words like Moses, who is believed to suffer from stuttering, I still have issues with words coming to my mind.
So with my tail between my legs, I will obey.
My first reaction was, "Of Course!"
My second reaction was, "Oh I had better pray about it."
Third reaction came about an hour later, but it was God, "Pray about it, Megan? Are you serious? You need to ask me if you should share MY story? Humph."
Fourth reaction was from me, "But you know I don't speak as well as I used to. I get lost in my thoughts, I can't keep a thought, I can't think of words at times... You know. My speaking is not as easy as my writing."
Fifth reaction, with Scripture reference, from God, "And? What about Moses."
Exodus 4:10-12
But Moses pleaded with the Lord, "O Lord, I'm not very god with words. I never have been, and I'm not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled."
11)Then the Lord asks Moses, "Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord?
12) Now GO! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say."
I may not struggle with my words like Moses, who is believed to suffer from stuttering, I still have issues with words coming to my mind.
So with my tail between my legs, I will obey.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Weekly "I AM"
Outside my window... the wind is blowing, as usual. Everything got a bath last night, so the plants look greener and happier.
I am thinking... how great I felt while on those meds and now I feel like poop, literal poop, the stinkiest poop you can find. Not sure why people use the phrase, "I feel like poop" because I didn't know poop felt or had feelings like a human, but since my mind can't think straight, I will say, I feel like poop. I hope I feel like a human being again. I am typing part of this on Sunday night and my hope is when I wake I will feel better. I also think that I am so thankful to everyone who has been praying for me, please continue. AND if I make absolutely no sense in this post, please come back. My brain is seriously not working. It has shut down and therefore I can hardly form a sentence. I feel like I'm blogging a bunch of tweets; random thoughts. *I typed this last night, as of this morning, I don't feel as poopy.
I am planning to cook... spinach pizza, tortelini soup and chicken burgers. Some suuper easy meals that require little to no thinking or planning.
I am reading... I'm still reading through Love Wins by Rob Bell. I put it down because I was tired of what he was saying and frankly disgusted at some of his uses of Scripture. If I am going to share my opinions, which I plan on, I don't want to have to preface with "I only read half the book." So I am dredging on. I do have a few more in line that I am super super excited about. I bought the book called The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. Some friends let me borrow Radical Together by David Platt, it's not out yet, they were given and Advanced Copy. Those are the next two in line. *The Hiding Place is free on ChristianAudio.com You can download it for free. I got it for Matt to listen to. He's read the book before, but said he wouldn't mind going through it again. Just a little FYI. ChristianAudio offeres a free audio book every month*
I am wearing... the same thing I always do. A prom dress.
I am hearing... C3 chattering and it makes me want to burst out in tears because she is getting so big and I'm not ready for her to go to school, graduate, get a boyfriend, get married and have children! I mean this will happen tomorrow people! Oy. "Hot dog, hot dog hot diggidy dog..." I hear Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
I am learning... that I can not do this alone. I have needed the prayers of my friends and family. I have needed the help of my husband. So many times I try to just power through. I'm used to powering through. When I could workout or run, powering through is what got me a great run, now if I power through I might end up with another IV line in my arm. HA! So I am slowly learning to heed to the whispers of my body. I am slowly learning...
I am praying... for my body to rebound. For my patience, as I am not being a very patient person right now. I'm praying for healing, my family and all of you. I mean that, I am really praying blessings upon you. I hope everyone has an amazingly WEiRD day.
I am thinking... how great I felt while on those meds and now I feel like poop, literal poop, the stinkiest poop you can find. Not sure why people use the phrase, "I feel like poop" because I didn't know poop felt or had feelings like a human, but since my mind can't think straight, I will say, I feel like poop. I hope I feel like a human being again. I am typing part of this on Sunday night and my hope is when I wake I will feel better. I also think that I am so thankful to everyone who has been praying for me, please continue. AND if I make absolutely no sense in this post, please come back. My brain is seriously not working. It has shut down and therefore I can hardly form a sentence. I feel like I'm blogging a bunch of tweets; random thoughts. *I typed this last night, as of this morning, I don't feel as poopy.
I am planning to cook... spinach pizza, tortelini soup and chicken burgers. Some suuper easy meals that require little to no thinking or planning.
I am reading... I'm still reading through Love Wins by Rob Bell. I put it down because I was tired of what he was saying and frankly disgusted at some of his uses of Scripture. If I am going to share my opinions, which I plan on, I don't want to have to preface with "I only read half the book." So I am dredging on. I do have a few more in line that I am super super excited about. I bought the book called The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. Some friends let me borrow Radical Together by David Platt, it's not out yet, they were given and Advanced Copy. Those are the next two in line. *The Hiding Place is free on ChristianAudio.com You can download it for free. I got it for Matt to listen to. He's read the book before, but said he wouldn't mind going through it again. Just a little FYI. ChristianAudio offeres a free audio book every month*
I am wearing... the same thing I always do. A prom dress.
I am hearing... C3 chattering and it makes me want to burst out in tears because she is getting so big and I'm not ready for her to go to school, graduate, get a boyfriend, get married and have children! I mean this will happen tomorrow people! Oy. "Hot dog, hot dog hot diggidy dog..." I hear Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
I am learning... that I can not do this alone. I have needed the prayers of my friends and family. I have needed the help of my husband. So many times I try to just power through. I'm used to powering through. When I could workout or run, powering through is what got me a great run, now if I power through I might end up with another IV line in my arm. HA! So I am slowly learning to heed to the whispers of my body. I am slowly learning...
I am praying... for my body to rebound. For my patience, as I am not being a very patient person right now. I'm praying for healing, my family and all of you. I mean that, I am really praying blessings upon you. I hope everyone has an amazingly WEiRD day.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Mission Accomplished
I just spent a few moments reviewing the past three days, how it's been a whirlwind of running here, there and everywhere. The emotions have been high, low and somewhere in between. Apparently a side effect is 'inability to sleep.' I realized that this morning when I woke at 4:30am, got up at 5:00,went into "crazy cleaning, accomplish the world" mode all day, that something was up and I wanted more 'roids.
I was thinging about the people I encountered today and the past two days.
There was a pregnant lady, 26 weeks to be exact. She walked in after me on Wednesday. She didn't look good. Apparently she pukes her guts out 24/7 and has to have almost constant fluids put into her through her PIC line. Yes, the poor girl has a PIC line in her inner arm, near her armpit. I started talking to her, wanted to hear her story.
She's having their first daughter and has an almost three year old son at home. Husband lost his job recently due to 'restructuring.' She's a dental hygienist, loves her job, but has been unable to work much because she's constantly at the hospital. She can't have a home health care nurse because she works out of the home. Has mounting medical bills, BUT her baby is healthy. I asked if she has a church home, she does. Sweet girl, just sick of vomiting.
The other person in the area was Mr. Bob. I didn't speak to Mr. Bob, I wanted to but the poor man was having a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy. And yes, it sounds as bad as it was. He was a tough cookie though, never made a sound. When I heard the Dr. explain the procedure I nearly cried for the man. It's believed he has a form of lymphoma. Sad. He sure did have an amazing attitude. I heard him say he doesn't have much energy anymore and can muster enough to work in the yard.
There was a lady on Thursday who was getting a blood transfusion. That same day was an elderly man, who looked like he had cancer. He was getting something dripped into him. He looked so frail. It hurt my heart.
I wondered why I was there. It's not like God said, "Ah pearly gates, I lost Megan again. Where did I send her? Hey Peter! Where's Megan?"
He sent me there. He had a mission.
When I walked out of those doors, I hope, He smiled and said, "Mission Accomplished."
I was thinging about the people I encountered today and the past two days.
There was a pregnant lady, 26 weeks to be exact. She walked in after me on Wednesday. She didn't look good. Apparently she pukes her guts out 24/7 and has to have almost constant fluids put into her through her PIC line. Yes, the poor girl has a PIC line in her inner arm, near her armpit. I started talking to her, wanted to hear her story.
She's having their first daughter and has an almost three year old son at home. Husband lost his job recently due to 'restructuring.' She's a dental hygienist, loves her job, but has been unable to work much because she's constantly at the hospital. She can't have a home health care nurse because she works out of the home. Has mounting medical bills, BUT her baby is healthy. I asked if she has a church home, she does. Sweet girl, just sick of vomiting.
The other person in the area was Mr. Bob. I didn't speak to Mr. Bob, I wanted to but the poor man was having a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy. And yes, it sounds as bad as it was. He was a tough cookie though, never made a sound. When I heard the Dr. explain the procedure I nearly cried for the man. It's believed he has a form of lymphoma. Sad. He sure did have an amazing attitude. I heard him say he doesn't have much energy anymore and can muster enough to work in the yard.
There was a lady on Thursday who was getting a blood transfusion. That same day was an elderly man, who looked like he had cancer. He was getting something dripped into him. He looked so frail. It hurt my heart.
I wondered why I was there. It's not like God said, "Ah pearly gates, I lost Megan again. Where did I send her? Hey Peter! Where's Megan?"
He sent me there. He had a mission.
When I walked out of those doors, I hope, He smiled and said, "Mission Accomplished."
Thursday, April 7, 2011
9 fnger wonder
Ths s what a post loos le when you dont have the ablty to use your mddle fnger on your rght hand. You loose the ablty to type the letter and the letter and to use the or comma. had a great post n mnd but then realzed t would not mae much sense f t looed le a cryptogram.
Revamped To Do's
To Do's for April 6, 2011
That's as far as I got on that list.
Now let me present the "To Do List that actually got To Do'd"
After my convo with God this morning and then the way things happened, one might say to ones self "Hmm, this is not what I pictured today looking like." So as Matt is driving us back to The Ville, I said to myself "Hmm, this is not what I pictured today looking like."
So as I wiggle my tongue like a horse with peanut butter in the mouth only I have metal in mine, I will end with this...
Psalm 144: 3-4 "O Lord, what are human beings that you should notice them, mere mortals that you should think about them? 4 For they are like a breath of air; their days are like a passing shadow." NLT
Life is short. David reminds us that it is "like a breath" and that our "days are like a passing shadow." Because life is short, we should live for God while we have the time. Don't waste your life by selecting an inferior purpose that has no lasting value. Live for God- He alone can make your life worthwhile, purposeful, and meaningful. -YouVersion Bible App
Take kids to schoolPray while driving to neuro, ask God to heal meRun to the neuro, tell him how you have felt pretty good and be excited about it- Drink coffee lots of coffee
- Make a short 1 item run to Wal-Mart
- Take some donate items by Birthright
- Take C2's shot records to school
- Pick up kids
- Cook dinner
- Corral kids the rest of the evening
That's as far as I got on that list.
Now let me present the "To Do List that actually got To Do'd"
- Take kids to school
- Run to neuro and nearly fall out in the lobby of the building
- Panic
- Cry
- Panic
- Cry
- Beg
- Talk to dr only I have no idea what I was saying to him
- Talk to dr only I have no idea what he was saying to me
- Get charged for the visit in which no one knew what anyone was talking about
- Pull Matt from work to take me to hospital
- Get an IV full of steroids
- Cuddle with C3 while getting meds dripped into my forearm
- Be thankful I'm not the lady next door getting an IV because I'm pucking my guts out and I'm pregnant
- Be told by a nurse I get to leave the line in my arm until after my infusion Friday. When I tell her I'm a Mom to three littles, she just says, "I'll wrap it really well."
- Have a mouth that tastes like I've been eating batteries or licking metal posts
- Be the recipient of a massive headache
- Matt picks up kids
- Make a run to kid's school because C2 beloved 'silky' was left
- Reassure C1 I'm not bleeding to death
- Reassure C2 "it doesn't hurt"
- Have dinner brought to us by a dear friend
- Realize how many people care for me
- Figure out how to accept the offers of help
- Lay in bed all evening
- Cuddle with C2 in my bed because he loves to cuddle
- Smile about the thought of my lug of butter loving to cuddle
- Watch church online with M1 (husband)
- Sit in bed while my house sleeps typing this post and think "I should definitely stop drinking coffee before bed
- Then decide I will stop when it becomes super hot
- I need a pedicure
- Listen to M1 sleep
- Thank God
- Don't scratch a single item of the list because everything happened so fast you forgot a pen
After my convo with God this morning and then the way things happened, one might say to ones self "Hmm, this is not what I pictured today looking like." So as Matt is driving us back to The Ville, I said to myself "Hmm, this is not what I pictured today looking like."
So as I wiggle my tongue like a horse with peanut butter in the mouth only I have metal in mine, I will end with this...
Psalm 144: 3-4 "O Lord, what are human beings that you should notice them, mere mortals that you should think about them? 4 For they are like a breath of air; their days are like a passing shadow." NLT
Life is short. David reminds us that it is "like a breath" and that our "days are like a passing shadow." Because life is short, we should live for God while we have the time. Don't waste your life by selecting an inferior purpose that has no lasting value. Live for God- He alone can make your life worthwhile, purposeful, and meaningful. -YouVersion Bible App
I've been using the Life Application Study Bible ® Devotion Reading Plan at YouVersion.com. You might enjoy it, or one of the many other plans that are available. Check it out at YouVersion.com.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Saving Souls
Warning: This post will contain oozing thoughts. Oozing thoughts are unpredictable and can not be contained. The ooze goes where it pleases.
"Ahh, warm water. Ugh, that's dirt." I said to myself as I was washing my feet in the bathtub. I don't like my feet to feel dirty. In fact, I always have a pair of socks on when in my house. The cold floor plus remnants of everything the kids have eaten since the last time I vacuumed or swept, is something my feet and my psychy can't handle, so I always wear socks.
That was how the morning ended.
This is how it began...
Me talking to God: Today is One Day Without Shoes, cool huh? (I proceed to tell him what it's all about as if He doesn't know.)
God: You should go without today.
Me: Eh, I'll have to walk in a parking lot and into the Y. You know that's gross! People will stare, talk, some might cackle, whisper, make fun.....
God: They do the same stuff to me Megan, I know the drill. You used to be a little attention drawer, go draw some attention.
Me: But..
God: GO
"She doesn't have any shoes on." Said a lady to her friend as they were walking out of the YMCA as I was walking in. I'm not sure who she thought I was, if I suffered from a memory problem and forgot to put shoes on this morning or if I was some radical tree hugging, kumbaya singing, kid lugging mom that doesn't wear shoes because they contain chemicals. I don't know, but the shock in her voice was quite humorous.
Went to my Bible study, studied, prayed, grabbed the kids and left. Walking to the car, more people whispered about my bare feet. By now, my feet are frozen and the asphalt is slightly painful, especially that itty bitty pebble that was stuck to my heel.
Dropped my maternity clothes off with a friend, she's having her third boy. I made a point while walking back to the car, to walk on her grass. I needed to feel something soft.
As soon as I got home, I headed to the tub to warm and wash my feet.
God: As you wash your feet clean, do you see how symbolic all of this is?
Me: Yep. (I talk like a hick to God, His idea not mine since He created me.)
Today is One Day Without Shoes. TOMSshoes and Compassion joined forces to bring awareness to all the kids in the world who don't have shoes. Some can't go to school because shoes are part of the uniform. Some get serious infections that are completely a million percent preventable with soles on their feet.
It might seem like a simple thing; go without shoes. But it's so much deeper than not grabbing your flip flops as you leave the house.
While praying in my Bible study the leader said something that was perfect. "Jesus, as we pray for the soles of people's feet, we also pray for their souls to be filled with You."
That's really what it's all about for me. I will go without shoes for souls.
*For every pair of shoes bought, TOMSshoes donates a pair. One for One*
Monday, April 4, 2011
My Weekly "I AM"
Outside my window... it looks like a helicopter is hovering above the earth. It is so windy. It's super cloudy and looks like it wants to rain. I am thinking.... I need a pedicure. How can my baby girl be going to Pre-K next year?! I could cry just thinking about it, I have cried just thinking about it. I'm overwhelmed with my thoughts on this topic. The thought of her going five days a week is not flowing easily through my scarred brain. I need a pedicure. It will drain me of what little energy I have taking her five days a week, picking her up before noon, taking C2 to his school and picking him up at noon and then taking care of C3. I have thought about homeschooling, but I know I am not able to teach C1 what she needs to move forward. She loves loves school. I've saved her a spot and if things become too difficult, I can always pull her. C3 stil prefers to be swaddled at night. How long until she will sleep without it. I guess I'll keep wrapping her until she starts fighting it. My post baby body is weird. After the other two, my legs were big and my belly wasn't too bad. After number three, my belly is very muffiny and my legs are not as big. I like twitter. I need to take family photos. C2 turned three. I go to my neuro on Wednesday, we have things to discuss. I really need a pedicure. I am planning to cook... yeah, I have absolutely no idea what is going to be on the menu this week. My mind has been slightly checked out the past few days. I can carry a thought just long enough to make coffee, but to read Love Wins is another story. Whew! I am having processing issues in the brain. My energy feels pretty good, but the brain is running slow. haha I have food, but to create something with it all might be asking way too much. I need a pedicure. I am reading...well, I read a few chapters of Love Wins and in all honestly this was my thought, "WHAT?" Perhaps it's the fact my brain's on overload, but I have decided to save what brain nerves I have left and put the book down. I got the gist of it and that was enough. Way too philisophical for this gal and I like philosophical, but this goes to places in the mind that are uninhabited. I need a pedicure. I am wearing.. same ol stuff, sweats, tshirt and socks because I need a pedicure. I am hearing... C2 playing with his trains and my toenail polish peeling off because I need a pedicure. C3 is chatting while chewing on her hands. From the sound of it, they are yummy I am learning... educationally; not much. Parenting wise; little by little. Spiritually; not enough. I like coffee, uh actually I like creamer with coffee. I like pinkish colors for my toes when I get a pedicure. I am praying... for healing and for us to move. I'm also trying to listen more and not talk as much. God has a lot to tell me, I can feel it, so I'm trying to shut up and listen.
Weekly "I AM"
Outside my window... it looks like a helicopter is hovering above the earth. It is so windy. It's super cloudy and looks like it wants to rain. I am thinking.... I need a pedicure. How can my baby girl be going to Pre-K next year?! I could cry just thinking about it, I have cried just thinking about it. I'm overwhelmed with my thoughts on this topic. The thought of her going five days a week is not flowing easily through my scarred brain. I need a pedicure. It will drain me of what little energy I have taking her five days a week, picking her up before noon, taking C2 to his school and picking him up at noon and then taking care of C3. I have thought about homeschooling, but I know I am not able to teach C1 what she needs to move forward. She loves loves school. I've saved her a spot and if things become too difficult, I can always pull her. C3 stil prefers to be swaddled at night. How long until she will sleep without it. I guess I'll keep wrapping her until she starts fighting it. My post baby body is weird. After the other two, my legs were big and my belly wasn't too bad. After number three, my belly is very muffiny and my legs are not as big. I like twitter. I need to take family photos. C2 turned three. I go to my neuro on Wednesday, we have things to discuss. I really need a pedicure. I am planning to cook... yeah, I have absolutely no idea what is going to be on the menu this week. My mind has been slightly checked out the past few days. I can carry a thought just long enough to make coffee, but to read Love Wins is another story. Whew! I am having processing issues in the brain. My energy feels pretty good, but the brain is running slow. haha I have food, but to create something with it all might be asking way too much. I need a pedicure. I am reading...well, I read a few chapters of Love Wins and in all honestly this was my thought, "WHAT?" Perhaps it's the fact my brain's on overload, but I have decided to save what brain nerves I have left and put the book down. I got the gist of it and that was enough. Way too philisophical for this gal and I like philosophical, but this goes to places in the mind that are uninhabited. I need a pedicure. I am wearing.. same ol stuff, sweats, tshirt and socks because I need a pedicure. I am hearing... C2 playing with his trains and my toenail polish peeling off because I need a pedicure. C3 is chatting while chewing on her hands. From the sound of it, they are yummy I am learning... educationally; not much. Parenting wise; little by little. Spiritually; not enough. I like coffee, uh actually I like creamer with coffee. I like pinkish colors for my toes when I get a pedicure. I am praying... for healing and for us to move. I'm also trying to listen more and not talk as much. God has a lot to tell me, I can feel it, so I'm trying to shut up and listen.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Lyrically Speaking
Planting Trees by Andrew Peterson (Counting Stars) We chose the spot, we dug the hole We laid the maples in the ground to have and hold As Autumn falls to Winters sleep We pray that somehow in the Spring The roots grow deep And many years from now Long after we are gone These trees will spread their branches out And bless the dawn He took a plane to Africa He gathered up into his arms An orphan son So many years from now Long after we are gone This tree will spread its branches out And bless the dawn So sit down and write that letter Sign up and join the fight Sink in to all that matters Step out into the light Let go of all that's passing Lift up the least of these Lean into something lasting Planting trees She rises up as morning breaks She moves among these rooms alone Before we wake And her heart is so full; it overflows She waters us with love and the children grow So many years from now Long after we are gone These trees will spread their branches out And bless the dawn These trees will spread their branches out And bless someone
Dilly Dallying
I find that God likes to speak to me at the most random of times. Maybe that's when I have my listening ears on, I don't know, but yesterday He hit me while putting my groceries on the belt at Walmart. I was waiting on the belt to move to allow more space for my stuff. While waiting, I checked my phone and noticed I had an email from Tom's Shoes. I can't remember the exact verbage, but it had to do with an upcoming event that encouraged people to go shoeless. I thought to myself in that very moment, while putting food on the belt, "Huh, that's a cool idea. That'd be fun to do." I wasn't planning on doing it, just thought it neat. I didn't even see what the charity or what their point was just thought going shoeless for anything was cool. "Megan, you support a lot of different charities which is great, but you need to pick one or two and really stand behind them. Find something to put your passion into." -God He's right. (of course) We have a Compassion child, so she's one, but I need something local. I'm praying for Him to show me who He wants me to serve. Do you have certain charities that you put all of your heart into or are you like me and dilly dally in a handful?
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