Merry Christmas 2012

CALEB: FAITHFUL

I am well aware of the popularity of the name Caleb, or Kaleb, but let me tell you why it's popular to us.

Matt and I worked at a boy's ranch many years ago. We lived with and 'parented' 6 boys that came from rough homes. We took care of them like you would your birth children. We loved these boys. There was one little boy around 6-7 years and he accepted Christ at our church, Lifechurch.tv, and then got baptized at Life Stock at Frontier City. (Back in the day, the church had a big shindig at the amusement park. The bands played and tons of people that had accepted Christ could get baptized in front of everyone. It's an amazing thing to see. Those big inflatable swimming pools are filled and people get dunked!) Matt had the wonderful opportunity to baptize this young man. I'll never forget his face when he rose up from the water... Such a happy memory for us.

His name was Caleb.

JANZEN: 

There isn't a definitive meaning of the name Janzen, that I could find.

 Love, Fruity Pebbles, Christ, Muskogee, Braves baseball, history, electric company, laughs, food, German, big hugs... the list could go on and on and on. These are a few of the words that help define this name for Matt and I. His list is probably enless as it's 38 years long. My list is 9 years long.

This name brings great stories and thoughts of Heaven.

Janzen is the last name of Matt's grandparents. (Read the family history here.)

I am Caleb Janzen.

Roots

I've had this post, idea for a post, in my head since the end of August but I can not find the proper words to make what is in my head sound clear to you, the reader. The only way I can think of is to ramble and pray what I want to say will come across and not get lost in the ramblings. Here I go:

Way back in August, towards the end of the month, we were still waiting to close on the house in BA. Matt had begun to grow annoyed with the process. We were standing in the bathroom, getting ready for bed and discussing the upcoming week. We had been told we would close on that coming Wednesday. This was about the 10th time we were given a closing date, so we didn't fully believe we would be given the keys that Wednesday.

Standing in the bathroom, and I have said many times here that the bathroom is a great thinking spot, we began to weigh pros and cons to pulling our offer and staying put. Then Matt said something that sealed our fate, "I dread signing those papers on Wednesday." Ouch. Dread? I knew if Matt was dreading this, then we had our answer. I told him to sleep on it, I would secretly pray his dread would turn into excitement overnight, and we would decide in the morning.

Morning came. He felt the same. He typed an email and sent it to our realtor and our mortgage guy. The deal was undone. We were staying. I cried. And I cried. And I mourned dreams. I mourned visions of my family in that house. And I cried some more. I cried for my kids. I cried for me!

Matt came home that night, we put the kids to bed and we both cried. We both have been waiting to move for four years! Two hours in a car Monday thru Friday has worn him out. Being away from us, getting up early, getting home late, missing school functions, no lunch dates at the house, lots of late dinners... Those things we dreamed of changing were not and we cried. What was going on? We felt God wanted us to move and now we weren't and we were very taken aback by the turn of events.

The following morning, Tuesday, I woke up, headed to the coffee pot and began that process when God hit me. "Megan, it is time for you to stop preparing to leave. You have spent four years waiting to move and not being present not only in your kid's life but in the life of the people you interact with everyday! You prepared your heart four years ago to say goodbye and in turn have made no real relationships. You have no roots! Plant yourself and be happy about it."

Done.

Bam!

There were/are things I have put off because I was waiting for us to move. In my mind, when we moved, the things I was putting off would be easier. Example: Buying a fish. Chloe has wanted a fish for a while, but I just didn't see the room for it. As God would have it, because we spent 5 months packing and decluttering, we now had room for a fish. Sprinkles the Betta and Jewels the African Dwarf Frog are now members of our family and I must admit, I like them.

Example 2: Riding Bikes. I have been waiting to move to a nicer area to teach the kids how to ride a bike. Our current road is a death trap for a kid. When we moved I was planning on buying bikes and watching them go. My vision was of Matt teaching them because he would have more time due to us living closer to his job. When God hit me, I knew we needed to buy the kids bikes. We haven't yet, but it is planned whereas before it was planned for when we move.

Roots! Embrace where I am!

Embracing has actually been fun. We have been making improvements to our house. There were projects we always wanted to do but since we thought we would move we never made them. They are now being done! The idea of staying and paying off our house is very appealing! Will we stay? For now, yes. How long? I have no idea. None. Could we be here for 1 year? Yes. Five? If we are, we are going to need another bathroom.

One thing I know, I will be growing relationships. I will be planting roots. I will grow here and stop waiting for the future to blossom.

KitchenAid Envy

I have drooled over KitchenAid Mixers for the past, oh, four years. 

 Like this yellow beauty. We shall call her Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Isn't she lovely?

Or how about this lovely blue? We shall call her Cinderella. I call these colors, "classic old car colors."

Matt has worked in Tulsa for four years now. Time sure does fly when you are married to a commuter. ha! When he took that job, we knew we would move closer. I would tell Matt at least once every few months, "When we move, the first thing I am buying is a KitchenAid Mixer."

 Then a year passed, then another, then another. Enter the fourth year. We have enough money saved to move and I begin KitchenAid Mixer shopping. We contact a realtor in the Tulsa area and begin the search. Less than 10 houses later, we put an offer on a beaut in Broken Arrow. The realtor told us it was a short sale but he didn't expect it to take longer than three months. "Perfect!" We thought. We could be in our new house early summer and in the neighborhood pool as soon as we pull the U-Haul into the driveway.

We passed the three month mark. Fourth. Fifth.

Once we entered the six month, we were growing anxious, restless and I was fixing to pop out a kid. Matt began having bad feelings about this process and we both knew that meant we needed to back out, so we did.

I mourned the loss of my mint green, I'd name her the princess from that one movie with the frog, but we haven't watched that one, KitchenAid Mixer.

Then it hit me!! If we are going to be here a while, by golly, I am buying a mixer and cleaning out a place to put her! Now I'm off to tell Matt my plans.

Caleb Janzen

Nine months of growing what can only be described as an oversized basetball/watermellon...

... lots of ultrasound pictures of Baby #4... 

September 11, 2012

5:47 pm

Caleb Janzen...

entered the world...

...weighing 7lbs 14oz. The largest of our kids...

 but so worth the wait...

Love.

First Day of School 2012-2013

Chloe Joy is now a Kindergardener! What?!

She still loves dresses and would wear one every single day along with her flip flops every single day if allowed. She is not allowed to wear that combo on PE days; school rules. She loves school.

Before heading to the school. One shot of Dad with his two oldest.

Cooper is a Pre-Ker! He got Chloe's teacher from last year and you do not even know how happy that made me. She is perfect for Coop and I know she will be able to teach him in the way he will learn and understand. He still loves his Superheroes and his closet consists of nothing else. After three days of school, I could already tell a big difference in him. He literally grew up in what seemed like overnight.

The whole crew. I am 37 weeks large.

Birthday Girl

Turning 6 is a big deal!

I asked Chloe what she wanted to do for her birthday. Her response was, "Go to a ho-tel." (That is how she says it.) Perfect! Matt and I were all about that idea because that meant we could stay in town and not travel or spend that much money. We figure why set the bar too high so early. haha

I booked a room at a new hotel downtown. We checked in and the kids went swimming. The evening ended up being amazing and for August that was a rare treat. After swimming, I took Colbie up to bed and Matt took Chloe and Cooper to the Kiddie Park to ride rides. They had a blast!

We woke the next morning and walked across the street to the local farmer's market. A local baker has the yummiest cinammon rolls which we normally buy every Saturday morning. With cinammon rolls in hand we headed to the patio of the hotel's restaurant. It was such a lovely morning! Walking back to our room, we took the long way around the hotel and I spotted this beauty.

My first Luna Moth sighting. Chloe was intimidated by its size. Both of us have only seen them in pictures. When she saw this one, she was taken aback by how large it actually was in real life. I was so excited. Yes, I'm a nerd but how can you NOT be amazed by this creation?!

She didn't want to get much closer. haha As we were leaving she begged to hold it and I told her no. I read later that they die within a week of being a moth. I felt bad because she could have held it and it wouldn't have mattered. Next time Chloe Joy, I will let you hold the Luna Moth.

Needles of Torture.

You want to see a grown woman get choked up? Ask her to hold her daughter's arms like she is a criminal so a nurse can poke her three times in her scrawny 38 pound legs with a torture device filled with what was describe by your daughter as acid. (Acid is my word not hers.)

You want to see a grown MAN get choked up? Ask him to hold his son down like he is a deranged lunatic so a nurse can poke him three times in his scrawny 37 pound legs with a torture device filled with what seemed like fire and listen to you son beg for mercy and shake with pain. <---- That my friends brings a strong man to tears. My tears came when I was driving home and I no longer needed to hide it.

Taking an infant in for shots is nothing. I'd much rather do that than what I had to endure today ever. again! I just realized I get to do it two more times and Coop probably will get some for Kinder next year. Joy.

Driving home, reliving the screams of horror and pain I started thinking.

I bet it brings that unswallowable lump in God's throat to see His children in pain.

When the kids were done, we held them for a long time while they cried and we reassured them it was over and going to be o.k. So thankful we have His lap to climb into so we can cry while He reassures us it's going to be o.k.

Now I must go mend my hurting heart.

Letting Go

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Boy is that a verse that is used A LOT! If I am being honest, it can be annoying to hear it. It's like the go to verse when people are going through something. It's the verse for "Ohhhh, I'll pray for you." It's the "I don't know what else to say and I have this one verse memorized so I'm going to use that and hope it makes you feel better" verse.

One might go as far as to say "Jeremiah 29:11 is the 'bless your heart' of the Bible." Ok, so I'll go as far as to say that.

Not doggin' the Bible! Just that verse gets used for everything in life from the big events to the little.

All that to say is, God used this verse on me this morning and I had a good tearful laugh/cry while on a spin bike. I guess God said, "Bless your heart, Megan."

Hubs and I had just received the 'no news news' on the house. Up until today I have been good. I have been ever so patient. I haven't worried or fretted or really even cared. Then today's call came. (see previous post on the no info info we got)

I hung up the phone, walk in to spin class with blurry teary eyes, trying to hide it, hop on a bike and just start asking God "What's going on?"

I'm waffling back and forth on what we should do; wait or walk, wait or walk......

Then I remember an event in my life that I wish I had walked and I have regretted it ever since.

When we worked at the boy's ranch, there was an event that took place that ended with me bawling my eyes out in a closet telling Matt to pack our stuff, we are out of here.

I finally came out of the closet, (hehe) and calmed down and changed my mind, I wanted to stay. Looking back, I should have ran to the nearest U-Haul place, grabbed a truck and left the ranch in my dust, but I didn't and the pain that followed was nearly unbearable. The anger and bitterness I held on to nearly destroyed me.

Back to the spin bike:

I'm peddling, at a rather slow rate because of the the giant baby in my belly, and those memories flood my mind as does Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans. Period." The first part of the verse was echoing in my head. "For I know the plans. For I know the plans."

He said, "Megan, do you believe that I truly know the plans for your family's life? Remember there is more to what I said, "to prosper you, Megan. Not to harm you, to give you hope and a future."

Side note: Prosper doesn't always mean cash money in the bank. I think it mostly means, happiness and joy.

"For HE knows the plans."

I realized I need to let go of this vision of my family in this house. I am letting go of the massive square footage and the 3 full baths. I am letting go of the family room where I saw all of us watching movies. I am letting go of the great neighborhood. I am letting go....

So today we are going to look at some rentals and we are bringing the checkbook. We have not formally pulled our offer. Sure don't want to be without a rental and no offer on a table so we will look and decide by the end of this week. Time is running out!

In full disclosure: If our people called today and said, "We have a deal!" I would jump on it. In full disclosure. :)

It took until today to finally be able to really let it all go. Just to say, "I'm done." is freeing. To finally not feel so stuck and in limbo, is nice.

So here comes the good news. It comes in verse 12, "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." AMEN!

Bank of America Blows

Life is crazy, yes?

We have been in the process of buying a house since March 15 of this year. That was the day we made our offer.

We have been waiting ever since.

The house we bid on was/is a short sale with Bank Of America. *doom doom dooooooom*

Yes, it is as awful as people say it is, the 'buying' process of a short sale with BOA, that is.

Weeks will go by and we will hear nothing. Then we will hear something, BUT it has nothing to do with us becoming any closer to buying a house. Matt signed papers the other day. Those papers asked if we worked for BOA or had a family member that worked for BOA, both of which we don't. BUT I think that is something that should have been asked on Day 1! We were at least 2 months into the waiting process and got a letter saying "the house is eligable for short sale." HUH? It took you fools two months to say that?!

Then we get an email in which BOA states their terms and what they will agree to. "Tell us where to sign!" We cheer. Then we find out it was papers that had nothing to do with actually buying this home. It all has made absolutely no sense what so ever. I try to explain it to people and they look at me with this bewildered face...... You know why? Because common sense says, "that doesn't make sense." I know. We have come to realize Bank of America opperates minus common sense hence the reason they are in the boat they are in and the rest of us are not; boat with holes with people in it that can't and won't take charge AND don't know what a boat is.

When we put a bid in on March 15, I thought surely we'd be in our new house by July. Boy, was I wrong. I really didn't want to spend another summer here in The Ville, but we did. I was hoping to have things situated and semi organized for the arrival of C4. Boy, was I wrong again.

Realtor called this morning. He had zero news, of course. He said, "BOA has a deadline to close on Aug. 17." We have heard this all before, "they have a deadline for this or that." That time comes and goes and we are no better off than prior to this imaginary deadline.

Our fear is waiting until this 'deadline' and then they extend it which will most likely happen. These people are some of the dumbest I have ever encountered.

We haven't even had an inspection yet because we can't get the proper paperwork.

Sooo this leads in to another post......

Off Season

I posted a month or so ago that Chloe started T-ball. Well, the season has come to an end and I am not exactly sure if she loved it. I think she enjoyed herself when there was something to do like hit or catch a ball. All that standing or sitting in the grass, just isn't her thing. We are thinking soccer might be more up her alley of activities. When the time comes next Spring, we'll probably try it again, we'll see.

Post Season Slushies

Waterballoon Attack

I saw an idea on the infamously famous Pinterest. The idea was for Christmastime. The concept was a virtual snowball fight using mini marshmallows. I idea was each kid gets a bag of  'snowballs' and attacks the Dad when he walks in the house. Have no fear though, on the door for the Dad to see when he enters the house is his own bag of ammo and a note saying something to the effect of, "Use these."

Since it's been over 100 degrees all week, I thought a pretend snowball fight would just be insulting to our sweaty armpits, so waterballoons became our weapon of choice.

Matt parks across the street, so I placed the following note with a bag of waterballoons, on the the mailbox.

Matt called to say he was on his way. The assailants and I ran outside and hid by the van as he drove up. Matt got out of the truck and I saw him approach the mailbox. "HA!" He said. "Attack!!!" I yelled.

 Kids began launching their balloons at Dad and to their demise, they don't throw hard enough for the balloons to bust on Dad so in turn they had the tables turned and became the vicitms of their own game! Matt tried to get them to pop on him by standing still but those balloons would not bust! The hunters very quickly became prey.

I sat on the porch with Colbie and had the best time watching them all laugh and attack each other. Our next weapon of choice for an upcoming Friday; super soakers. I think the kids will have more success getting Dad with those. :)

Warrior Dash 2012

Three point two miles, 8-10 obstacles, mud, thousands of crazy people, more mud, fire, barbed wire and a great time. That is part of the Warrior Dash way.

Matt and I ran it last year and I had the time of my life. It was more than a race for me. (Symbols)

Being as how I am big and round, I had to sit out this year. Matt ran with his sister and a friend/co-worker, Tanner. I was very jealous BUT it was a fun experience getting to see him run. The best part? I was able to take pictures that are free! I don't have to buy them from WD people.

Colbie and I set up camp at the last obstacle.

The cargo net and the 'jump over fire' were the obstacles leading up to the mud pit covered in barbed wire. The fire wasn't as big this year as it was last year. Kind of disappointing.

Closer look at the pit.

I put pictures of Tanner on here because I got some really good ones.

This is one of my favorites I took. He looks angry, probably because he's drinking mud.

Matt's turn to swim!

He said it was a lot deeper than he had expected. Right before he came through, the WD Staff People had a Bobcat and was adding dirt to the pit.

Blah! But a fun Blah!

Almost there.

And like a good big brother, he turns to wait on his sister.

She's truckin' through.

Proud! As she should be, she had a great time and a great ranking.

Love him.

They did it!! Tanner and Amy have officially become Warrior Dash pro's!

Brother and Sister.

Next up for these two (and Tanner) is Conquer the Gauntlet. They are insane; four miles plus 30 obstacles in August. Whew!! BUT they've got it handled. :)

Knox Reunion 2012

Knox Reunion at Fin and Feather on Lake Tenkiller. This is our third year at the Fin and we just love it. Could not ask for a better place for a large family to gather, make memories and enjoy each others company.

I took Colbie on a walk the first morning so I could see the lake. This is the view. Just amazing.

Although she doesn't look it, this girl loves the water. She does hate having her picture taken which is why she looks silly.

Part of my crew. All three are very tired.

I'm not sure what this is called other than tight rope walking.

All the kids took a turn.

Coop and his worm.

I'm not sure how many laps they made, but Colbie and Grandpa walked around the pond for quite a while. Colbie was loving it. She was swinging her arm back and forth. That would be the equivalent to a dog wagging its tail.

The infamous tree frog. Cooper found this on a slide at the park. Needless to say, Chloe was absolutely in love. I'm not gonna lie, I kind of was too. It's actually quite rare to find one of these in this part of Oklahoma.

Here is the map of where the American Green Tree Frog is generally located and it is not near Lake Tenkiller. For nerds like Chloe and I, this was very exciting to find.

 Probably one of the coolest things we have found or got to hold... so far. When we let it go, Chloe cried. She was genuinely upset. Someone told her, "This is where he lives. We need to let him stay here." This might work for the general population of kids when you want them to leave a bug or something behind, but these sentences do not work for my child. She has a heart for creatures and the 'run of the mill' adult reasons to leave it behind do not work. Soooo because I felt bad, I promised her a fish when we move.

Cooper being Cooper.

Cousin feet. They are all country kids at heart. I'm not sure why any of them brought shoes because they never wore them. The only reason those pink Crocs are being worn was because she was just given them. They literally ran everywhere barefoot. Makes me laugh. It's fun being a kid.

Cooper being Cooper, again. This is 10 out of the 13 cousins.

Chloe and her frog.