Friday, September 12, 2008

The Sun Is OUT.... Ohh now it's gone.

So the sun has been out off and on this morning!! I love the rain, but after a few days of darkness I become dark inside. I get grouchy and lazy and slightly depressed. It's really weird. I don't think I could live in Alaska.

I finally decided to completely give up pumping/breastfeeding. My last pump was on Tuesday. Yesterday was painful, so I had to pump a little out. Then this morning one boob was fine and the other was hard as a rock and it hurt so bad, so I had to let Coop help me out a little. He hadn't nursed in over a month and he new exactly what to do; like riding a bike I guess.

I kept having this inner battle while laying in bed last night, "Am I making the right decision?"

When I woke up this morning, I felt ok with my decision. I'm sad but I think I would be sad if I quit today or in 2 months. I never felt this sort of indecisiveness with Chloe. I think it's just a different relationship Cooper and I have. I feel closer to him in a different way than I feel to Chloe. I guess it's the whole dynamics of mother-son and mother-daughter relationships. Just like Matt's relationship with the both of them is different.

I'm looking forward to getting my small boobs back.

(This is why he has no bumper!)

I spent yesterday making a tutu for Chloe. I started Wednesday night and finished it yesterday. Did she want to wear it after I got done making it? NO!! So who did she want to wear it?


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For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. -Corinthians 5:14