My mother-in-law called me tonight, "Megan, I just wanted to hear your voice and to tell you, you have been on my mind a lot lately and in our prayers. We are praying that they will find nothing. Right now is a time to call on the Lord and ask Him to help you through each and every day. You may ask for his help as soon as you wake and five minutes later you are letting fear creep in. It is going to be a minute by minute prayer. This is going to be a test, a test for you to choose to grow closer to God or let Satan rule your life with fear. Are you going to rise up and accept the good news and or the bad news? Or are you going to succumb to the intense fear you are feeling right now? God is going to use you, who knows who you are going to help b/c of all this." (There was more but I had to edit b/c I was crying and can't recite it all verbatim.)
"I know, but I am just terrified I will get the bad news."
"Ya, but God loves you and he doesn't want to bring harm upon you, he is going to love you through this and you are going to love Him more b/c of this."
Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
I have never handled 'tests' very well. I tend to think God is out to get me when bad things happen; I tend to forget the love aspect. I have had many tests in my life and when the clouds and fog lifts I often say to myself, "Megan you didn't handle that very well. You should have been crying out to the Lord and not just crying."
So through this test, no matter the news, I am determined to get an A+. I want, no I yearn to be closer to God, to know Him more intimately, so I will pass this test. I have to, there's no other option.
I may receive devastating news. I HAVE to make myself think on the moment- think on God.
I may receive great news. I HAVE to rejoice and be glad for the test...