Saturday, October 25, 2008

Concert Stories

Driving to the concert was madness! Kevin, my Australian-English lover who lives inside of Garmin world, didn't know the location of the Spirit Bank Event Center, so Matt and I were left to figure it out.

Traffic is atrocious. We're at a right turn, but wait to turn because we want in the inside lane like all the other some odd thousand people going to the same concert, so we can turn left, not the outside lane. We finally are able to turn. Cars were all out in the intersection. Once we get in the inside lane a car pulls beside us, to my right. I look over and he's just yelling. I put my lip reading skills to use and I think he's yelling, "Vacuum, Vacuum blah blah blah you something or another" over and over at us. Maybe he was a salesman, who knows. Matt asks, "What was he saying?"
"Oh, he was a vacuum salesman."
"He was cussing at us?" Matt asks shocked. Like he's never driven in Tulsa before.
"Ya, he was mad b/c we didn't turn immediately on the green light. Like WE are the only car keeping him from going anywhere."
"You should have mooned him and shook it." He says, thinking he's really funny. I did laugh though.
"Ya, I just stared at him, like I was hypnotized and sipped my coffee."
"You did?" He thinks I'm funny, which I am.
"Look how far he got."

The guy literally was 4-5 car lengths in front of us. Funny how mad he got and it didn't even matter. Crazy old man in a blue caddy.

We park the mini. We got a smokin' spot facing the direction of traffic for easy exiting. It took us 5 minutes to park and get it right. Were there other cars vying for that same spot? No, but we knew they would be very soon.

So we start the walk, which turned into a hike, but we made it.

Before the concert started, I walked out to the lobby to check out the 'souvenir' table. I wanted a shirt to commemorate the event. I never buy shirts from concerts b/c they are always over priced, but I really wanted one.

As I re-enter the stadium, the lights have been turned off. SCC and MWS have just come on stage.

I pause to attempt to let my eyes adjust.... I wait for about 3 seconds. I can see people so I think, "Ahh I'll make it."

About 10 seconds into my walk to my chair, I begin to feel myself falling forward and a pain so excruciating in my injured ankle. I have no idea what is going on. I can't see so I do what every other normal person would do- I just keep walking. I realize my feet are off the ground and I'm in the prone position on top of something hard with a plastic liner. I hug it hoping whatever it is it will help me back into the upright position. Then it hits me, literally. I am having an unfriendly encounter with a jumbo sized trash can-the plastic variety.

I manage to return to my feet, grab the trash can, and kick it off to the side so no one else enters, (no pun intended) the same fate as I. I get back to my seat and tell Matt what attacked me and he can't stop laughing. I think he felt bad though when I told him I messed up my already messed up ankle AND that nobody helped me out of the plastic bag... (They, the onlookers and passersby, called themselves Christians. I was a badly beaten, and dying man/woman on the side of the road in need of a Good Samaritan. And everyone just kept singing/walking.)

The concert continues, all is well again, even though I can't feel my toes and my foot is throbbing-it's all good.

SCC starts talking about the day his life changed-the day his daughter passed. He begins with his thoughts of ever singing 'Cinderella' again. He explains those thoughts at great length; which is another reason you have to see the show.

I'm listening intently and feeling sad inside for him and I hear from behind me a rather loud and annoying voice, yelling at someone.

I realize that loud, annoying, obnoxious person is on the phone, "HEY, CAN YOU HEAR ME? (No lady they can't hear you, did you forget where you are?) GET 'DEBBIE'!!! HEY CAN YOU HEAR ME? (Again lady will you please be quiet, they can't hear you.) LISTEN LISTEN, HE'S GOING TO SING A SONG!! (No kidding lady, again, did you forget you came to a concert and NOT a basketball game?) OK OK HE'S FIXING TO SING... LISTEN!!!!" (Will you shut up!! I'm in a moment here!)

A few songs later, I hear an oh familiar sound, "HEY!! CAN YOU HEAR ME? (Do I need to repeat my thoughts I JUST had, out loud to you? Lady, you're lucky I feel like God is sitting in the seat next to me, or I'd ask you if you can hear my middle finger.) HEY!! GET 'JOHNNIE!! (Why is she doing this to her children? She should have just forked over the cash and brought them.) HE'S FIXING TO SING! (Again lady, DUHHH! God you'd better make my legs go numb or else I'm gonna...) OK, OK, LISTEN!! CAN YOU HEAR HIM? (No, he can't b/c you left him and his sister at home, so you could call them after every other song and ask them if they can hear!!! Are you crazy?) OK, BYE!!! (Buuuhhh Bye)

So I kind of do one of those 'polite' look over my shoulders to see who in the world is so rude... She's an LP. I begin to think, "Man she may be an LP, but she's an LP with an average sized voice, possible more than average."

Matt spent the whole concert sitting, slouching and leaning towards me. I asked him later why he didn't just stand up? He said he felt bad. Such a nice man.

Concert ends, "You ready to enter the cattle shoot?" Matt asks, laughing. (You know when everyone starts down the stairs at the same time? Looks like a bunch of cattle heading to the trucks to be loaded and later butchered.)
"Naahhh, lets just chill."

So we sit and wait and I can see yellow shirts, 'Event Staff', heading towards us. They are fixing to 'cattle prod' us so we'll leave. We beat them to the punch though and leave before they get us.

Matt and I thought we'd be slick and park a mile away. Yaahh, we were idiots. Our car was the only one parked in this lot. Why? B/c low and behold there is a parking garage next to the arena. We didn't know that.

So we are walking to our car/van, making jokes and pretty much just making fun of the cell phone lady. We're about 100 yards from our van and a guy yells out of his parked car, "HEY, DID YOU GUYS JUST SEE S.T.P.?"
"Huh?" I ask, but making sure SCC and MWS don't have an alias I'm unaware of.
"Oh, no we didn't." I yell back.
Matt says, "Who's S.T.P.?"
"Stone Temple Pilots"
"Oh," he says and then begins his sarcastic remark, "Ya, we just saw S.T.P. Now let me get into my minivan."

It was really funny b/c Matt isn't usually very quick witted.

Now for the middle finger comment. I would never do that, I didn't even think it. I just made up that part of the story.


For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. -Corinthians 5:14