Through the Journal

As I've said, I'm a journaler. Have been since middle school. I began being very consistent with my journaling when I went to college. So to show how God brought Matt and I together I thought I'd share my journal entries from right before we met and then when we met.

I began a study called "And the Bride Wore White." I had had the book for a long time, but was scared to start it. The lady that let me borrow it told me, "Watch out this book will change your life."

12-16-01 Chp. 1
Dear God,
In order for my heart to change, I need to give some things over to you. My struggles....
I'm still deeply hurt by my parent and their decision to get a divorce a couple of yrs. ago. I have fear in my life b/c I saw their relationship. I know w/o a doubt that I will not get a divorce, but it all scares me. I'm really hurt by them, and I don't want to worry about that. I want to put all that aside and be totally submissive to what you want to do w/ me. I want to move forward. I'm sorry for not giving it up sooner and I pray that you will help me.
Also Lord I pray that you will keep me from worldly passions and desires. Keep me shielded Lord and be my teacher now and as I read through this book, be my teacher please. Amen.

12-19-01 Chp. 5
My Dream Man...
Gosh, this is tougher than I thought it was going to be, but here we go...
Obviously first and foremost he's got to love Jesus, but w/ a passion that is so unique it really shines through in all he does. He could just smile and you can see the love for Jesus he has in his smile. Also, he has to be driven to know more about Jesus, wanting to grow closer everyday, never getting comfortable with where he and Jesus are, but also teaching me and leading me and helping me grow. I want him to be able to learn from me and me from him. I want to look at him and just be amazed at how much he loves the Lord and how he isn't afraid to show it. But I want him to look at me and see me as an amazing woman of God. (Edited down) He's got to love serving. Just doing things for people, whether it's volunteering or just doing something with the kids for the kids. Just a heart to help others. I love to serve. How cool would that be to go and serve together.... (Editing for times sake.)
Love me and my family no matter what crazy things they have done.
Love kids, just love everything about them and want to impact their lives.
Takes care of his body........... (Edited)
Doesn't care about his appearance when he doesn't need to..........
(Edited down)

It goes on and on, and I don't want to bore you, but I put off this list for a long time. A girl told me once that soon after she made her list, she met her husband. That freaked me out, so I didn't do it.
January 21, 2002 a birthday card is left of my car window.

1-28-02
Well, I guess it's safe to say that much has happened in the past month or so. I joined LifeChurch and got hooked up in a Life Group and found out that someone liked me. Sooo... that's where I am. I'm fighting the 'liking' thing b/c if my sources are correct then he's pretty serious about the liking thing. He's really awesome though! So considerate, patient and seems great. Opens doors. If there's a door of any type, I'm not opening it, he will. : ) Which I love!!! He says I'm perfect!!!! What do I say about that? He prays about this every night, gosh I'm really confused. My heart and head have been saying 2 diff. things so that's been hard. But he def. makes me smile. When I see him I smile:) I'll keep you posted!! :) I don't know.
Megan

I never wrote his name. I can remember intentionally NOT writing his name so I didn't jenks it. It's just so funny to go back and read the evolution of our relationship.

Matt took the day off of work today as a surprise to me. It's a good one and cheap. He said, "Megan, go do whatever you need to do today. If that means getting your toes done, going to Tulsa, going where ever, go, I'll stay here." So this morning I'm off to MOPS, all alone.

I'll post more entries later... You guys may not enjoy it, but I enjoy talking about my Matt.